Wide Eyes Comic Strips - Page 6

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247 Results for Wide Eyes

View 51 - 60 results for wide eyes comic strips. Discover the best "Wide Eyes" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet & world wide web, ideas, wine, liquid lunch, tweet, down trodden, sense of humor, twitter, cell phone, office, technology

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BAD IDEA Boss: I should drink wine at lunch more often. WORSE IDEA I'm in the mood to tweet. WORST IDEA I hope the down-trodden have a sense of humor.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags industry & manufacturing, manufacturing, more green, ac units, elastic bands, hats covered eyes, don't shoot messenger, elbonian, engineering

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Boss: We told our Elbonian factory to be more green, so they turned off their AC units. The heat caused the elastic bands in their hats to stretch until their eyes were covered. And that's why we'll miss our ship date. CEO: They say you shouldn't shoot the messenger, but no one warns you how much you'll want to.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, internet & world wide web, seattle, quick meeting, stone age tribe, skype, never used, why fly, telecommunte, airplane

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Boss: I need you to fly to Seattle for a quick meeting. Dilbert: Will I be meeting with a newly discovered Stone Age tribe that has never used Skype? Boss: No. Dilbert: Then I'm totally confused.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, discussion, internet & world wide web, humor consultant, have more fun, internet access to entertainment, funny comment

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Boss: I hired a humor consultant to teach us how to have more fun at work. Dilbert: Does he cancel out the consultant you hired to filter our Internet access to entertainment? Wally: That was a funny comment. How'd you do that without a consultant?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gloating, ignorance (knowledge), internet & world wide web, digital media curation, trendy jargon, ignorance on dsiply, not worthy, curation means

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Man: My role is digital media curation. Dilbert: Am I supposed to know what that means? Man: Ha ha! I look down you for not understanding my trendy jargon. Your ignorance is on display for all to see! Leave this meeting now! You are not worthy! Dilbert: Maybe you could just tell us what curation means. Man: Fine. Let's try that. It means um... um... Is it too late for me to overlook your ignorance and move on?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, internet & world wide web, down load apps, new phone, primary job, formulas in excel

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Boss: Can you show me how to download apps on my new phone? Dilbert: I could... but that would take time away from my primary job of showing you how to do formulas in Excel. Apparently the eight times I already taught you weren't enough. Boss: I don't use Excel often enough to remember from one time to the next. Dilbert: How often do you expect to download apps? Boss: It's hard to say. I just know I want all of them. How many are there? Dilbert: Four.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet & world wide web, office equipment, public speaking, ordinary powerpoint, portal, another dimension, fantasy, reality, trade places, slides

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Dilbert: This might look like an ordinary Powerpoint slide. But it is actually a portal to another dimension in which fantasy and reality have traded places. Boss: Stop playing with my slides. Dilbert: Beware the horned beast that crosses over.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags actions & defenses, computers & peripherals, internet & world wide web, international data security standards group, security prcedures, bed sores

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Boss: Dogbert is chairing the international data security standards group. Dogbert: The goal of our organizations is to make your security procedures so inconvenient that you give up hope and die from bed sores. We take pride in being independent from the companies that fund us.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hardware, internet & world wide web, next week balancing, traffic loads, network, worst wingman, shame

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Wally: Is it okay if I spend the next week balancing traffic loads on our newtork? Asok: I thought I told you that our hardware vendor already did that. Wally: Worst wingman ever. Asok: Shame is my name!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer survey data, marketing, design, engineering secret, business

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The customer survey data is for marketing eyes only. design the next release and we'll tell you if its what everyone wanted. How long will it take? Dilbert: Thats an engineering secret.