$35 Worth Food Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

216 Results for $35 Worth Food

View 51 - 60 results for $35 worth food comic strips. Discover the best "$35 Worth Food" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #art, #criticism, #irritation, #worth

View Transcript

Transcript

Art Department Dogbert: I am Dogbert, the quantifier of unquantifiable things. I declare you to be worth $85. No one likes to be quantified.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jewelry, #rich people, #expensive watch, #entire net worth, #ceo, #employee

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Holy moly! Your watch costs more than my entire net worth. CEO: Thank you. Asok: This isn't a "thank you" situation. CEO: You're welcome?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #planned merger, #fast food chain, #employees, #source of protein, #perfect situation, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I recommend we cancel our planned merger." Dilbert says, "They plan to open a chain of fast food restaurants using our employees as a source of protein." The Boss says, "If we always waited for the perfect situation, we'd never get anything done."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cow supervisor, #bovine overlord, #usurper, #food chain, #kind of cool, #position in food chain

View Transcript

Transcript

Cow supervisor A cow says, "Try not to think of me as a cow who happens to be your supervisor." The cow says, "Think of me as your bovine overlord, the usurper of your position in the food chain." Dilbert says, "I'd be lying if I said that didn't make it feel kind of cool." The cow says, "Say you'd die for me!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appreciation, #lunch, #employee appreciation lunch, #$35 a piece, #one isn't paying, #figured out

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Okay, the bill for the employee appreciation lunch comes out to $35 apiece. Alice: That only adds up if one of us isn't paying. The boss: The employees figured out why I appreciate taking them to lunch.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #statue of liberty, #destroy, #pr, #responsibility, #clean up, #new york harbor, #light show, #weapon demo, #podium, #speech, #fish food

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO says, "The media is on our back because we accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty. We need your P.R. advice." Dogbert says, "Did you take full responsibility and promise to clean up the harbor?" CEO says, "Ooh." Earlier that day CEO says, "Many of you don't know that the Statue of Liberty was very old... and made entirely of fish food."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #lawyer, #feels wrong, #research, #harvard law degree, #feelingl, #greasy food and ignorance, #data, #harvard degree over cheeseburger, #bad mood, #science, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This doesn't feel right. Dilbert: It came straight from our lawyer. Boss: It just feels wrong. Can you research it a little more? Dilbert: Sure. I can do that research in my head. Let's see... our lawyer got his degree at Harvard and has twenty years in this exact field. Whereas you have a "feeling" that is probably the result of an unholy combination of greasy food and ignorance. The data clearly favors the Harvard Law degree over the cheeseburger. ... Good luck. He's in a bad mood.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lisa, #woman, #happy owman, #nice woman, #engineers liked, #appaorachable, #cubicle, #gifts, #poems, #Food, #replacing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Now Dilbert will explain what went wrong with our projects this year." DILBERT: "All of our problems were caused by a woman named Lisa." "Lisa never learned to act aloof and unapproachable. Sometimes she smiles and men she doesn't even know." "Gasp." "Gasp." "As you know, 90% of engineers are lonely men." "A permanent line formed outside her cubicle." "The engineers brought her food, gifts and poems that weren't as funny as they'd hoped." "Food, Gifts, Poems (bad)." "I recommend replacing Lisa with someone more like this." Alice: "What's THAT supposed to mean?" Asok: "My poems aren't funny?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #great vacation, #beautiful sunsets, #amazing food, #descriptions, #serve no purpose, #selfish attempt, #trigger memories

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting in his cubicle. A coworker approaches and says, "My vacation was great!" The coworker continues, "The sunsets were beautiful. The food was amazing." Dilbert turns and says, "Descriptions of your vacation serve no purpose." Dilbert continues, "I can neither see the sunsets nor taste the food." Dilbert continues, "It appears to be a selfish attempt to trigger happy memories for yourself at my expense.' The coworker responds, "Okay, buster! When my seven rolls of film get developed.." She exclaims, "You're out of the loop!!!" The coworker leaves and Dilbert whistles and thinks to himself, "That worked out better than I hoped."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #depression (mental state), #inventions, #self worth, #doubt, #microwave, #machine language, #kill me, #beep

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: You keep giving me trivial assignments that make me doubt my self-worth. Boss: Chill out. You don't hear the microwave whining all day long. Robot: He doesn't know that the machine word for "Please kill me is 'Beep.'" Microwave: Beep.