3 Projects Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

210 Results for 3 Projects

View 51 - 60 results for 3 projects comic strips. Discover the best "3 Projects" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2014's comic on:


Tags #hypocrisy, #performance review, #projects, #redo, #winding down, #work ethic, #more responsibility

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My projects are winding down and I'd like to take on more responsibility. Boss: Ooh. That's a problem because I just finished your performance review and it says you don't take initiative. Dilbert: I guess you need to redo that. Boss: That would be one way to play it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2014's comic on:


Tags #behind schedule, #obstical, #projects, #sound dumb, #three engineers, #time management skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: All of your projects are behind schedule. You need to work on your time management skills. Dilbert:Let me see if I understand you correctly. You expect me to do the job of three engineers... ...and the only obstical to your brilliant plan os my poor time management? Boss: Stop making everything I say sound dumb. Dilbert: I dont do it that often. Because you only sound dumb when people understand what you mean. Boss: And thats too Often! Dilbert: Once a week tops.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2014's comic on:


Tags #anxiety, #bad advice, #projects, #work load, #freaking out, #tackle, #unpleasant tasks first, #wrong order

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have too many projects. I'm freaking out. Boss: Experts say you should tackle the most unpleasant tasks first, so you have a feeling of accomplishment and control. Dilbert: Now I have too many projects and some extra anxiety that I'm doing them in the wrong order. Boss: Off you go.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #deadlines, #deadline, #management, #time management, #projects, #distraction, #multitasking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When do you think you can get that done for me? Dilbert: Depends. If I had no interruptions, I could finish in four hours. But we have to factor in the inefficiency of your management. For example, you're likely to give me six new projects before I get started on this one. And you force me to work in ta noisy office surrounded by all the people I need to avoid to get work done. Given all of that, I'd say it will take seven months. Boss: I'll give you three months because I'm a leader. Dilbert: Oookay. And... how much of the three months will involve you standing there?

Charge All Hours To Projects

Thank you for voting.
Charge All Hours To Projects - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #logic, #billing, #honesty, #fraud, #money, #time

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Make sure you charge 100 percent of your time to project codes. Dilbert: Are you asking us to fraudulently apply our miscellaneous hours to specific projects so we can overbill clients? Boss: It's not a crime if you pretend it was an accident. Dilbert: Did you learn that in "flaw" school?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2018's comic on:


Tags #my value, #new assignments, #projects, #slow walker, #rivals in management

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, Im promoting you to the position of slow walker. Wally: I am almost curious about what that entails. The Boss: I'll be giving you all the assignments that could make my rivals in management successful. All you have to of is low walk those projects until they die from lack of energy. Wally: Its about time you recognized my value. Ive been pre[aring for this moment all of my life. The Boss: Meet me in my office in ten minutes for you new assignments. You're supposed to be here two hours ago. Wally: Is it too soon to ask for a raise?

Zombie Projects

Thank you for voting.
Zombie Projects - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #zombie, #sloth, #fail, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: wally, i'm putting you in charge of all the zombie projects that refuse to die. the boss: i'm counting on your sloth and incompetence to finish them off, so management feels comfortable finally canceling them. the boss: as of today, i'm paying you to fail. wally: actually, this is just the first time you're aware of it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2011's comic on:


Tags #debates, #discussion, #ognorant, #arrogant, #reading comprehension, #logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Your email was ignorant and arrogant. Dilbert: How do you know it isn't just a reading comprehension problem on your end? Let's use logic to see which one of us is right. Bad decision 2. Bad decision 3.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #automobile travel, #automobiles (cars), #weather, #zero degrees, #icy roads, #coffee, #traffic, #guradrail, #3 hours late

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're just now getting here? Wally: It's zero degrees and the roads are all ice. I drank six cups of coffee before leaving the house and sat in traffic for two hours. Boss: You're three hours late. Wally: I spent the last hour stuck to a guardrail.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2012's comic on:


Tags #app store, #created app, #dream killer, #first name, #free apps, #madonna, #sell a million, #mother, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I spent four months creating this app, mom. I think I can sell a million of them for $3.99. Mom: I saw seven apps just like this in the app store and five of them were free. Dilbert: Thanks for the feedback, dream-killer. Mom: Have you ever thought of just using your first name, like Madonna?