Time And Logic Comic Strips - Page 6

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View 51 - 60 results for Time And Logic comic strips. Discover the best "Time And Logic" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #video conference, #desktop, #telecommuting, #level of professionalism, #share document, #next time

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"This desktop video conference thing is great!" "Even though you're telecommuting, you still maintain a level of professionalism." "Let's share a document next time."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no work, #invented code, #accounting systems, #mid 80s, #undocumented spaghetti logic, #holy grail, #technology

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Dilbert: "I've never seen you do any real work around here, Irv. How do you get away with it?" IRV: "I wrote the code for our accounting system back in the mid-eighties. It's a million lines of undocumented spaghetti logic." DILBERT: "It's the Holy Grail of technology!!" IRV: "You boys may find a little extra in your envelopes this month."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #final design, #zebra, #fisnih on time, #canceled project, #month ago, #legal, #binder, #dont travel

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Dilbert: Here's the final design for Project 'Zebra'. I worked day and night for weeks to finish it on time. The Boss: I canceled that project a month ago, I meat to tell you. Dilbert: In some countries it would be legal to kill you with this binder, The Boss: Thats why I don't travel.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #client server, #project, #reasoning, #six minutes, #time line, #world wide operations, #understand

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The Boss: I put together a time line for your project. I started by reasoning that anything I don't understand is easy to do. Phase one: design a client-server architecture for our world wide operations time: six minutes.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #self mangled team, #vital tasks, #staus report, #kiss some butts, #track your time

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The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "I'm going to make your group a 'self-managed team.'" The Boss continues, "All of the vital management tasks that I've been doing will now be shared among you." Dilbert says to Wally and Alice, "Stop your work and give me a status report." Alice says, "Track your time." Wally says, "I think I'll kiss some butts."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assignments by priority, #won't waste time, #unimportant stuff, #a priority, #personal life, #must do, #b priorities

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The Boss stands in front of Dilbert who is seated at his desk. The Boss hands Dilbert a document and says, "I ranked all of your assignments by priority so you won't waste time on unimportant stuff." Dilbert reads the document and says, "Everything is an 'A' priority except for 'Personal life.'" Dilbert says, "this helps a lot." The Boss says, "I'm still working on the list of 'Must do' 'B' priorities."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #never time lunch, #men are early, #upgrading pcs, #paid off, #effieciency, #hungry, #secrets

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Dilbert and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Alice walks over and says, "Why is it that I never have time to eat but you MEN are in here every day at 11:35?" Wally replies, "Because the hours we spent upgrading our PCs have finally paid off by greatly improving our efficiency." After Alice has left the table, Dilbert says to Wally, "I thought it was because we get hungry at 11:30?" Wally replies, "We can't reveal all our secrets."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frivolous email, #bogs down network, #noticed, #too much communication, #about time

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Dilbert reads an e-mail message on his computer screen. The message says, "To: all users. From: network admin. Please refrain from frivolous e-mail. It bogs down the network." Dilbert types a message that says, "To: network admin. From: Dilbert. CC: all users. I agree!" Dilbert arrives at home and asks Dogbert, "Have you noticed there's too much communication in the world, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah, every day at about this time."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert the consultant, #took adice, #formed buisness, #compmay, #spend time fighting, #guarantee future business, #expired

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The Boss says to Dogbert, "We took your advice and formed business units within the company . . ." As Wally and another employee fight with each other in the background, the Boss continues, "Now we spend all of our time fighting with each other about who does what." The Boss asks Dogbert, "What exactly did you mean when you said it would 'guarantee future business?'" Dogbert says, "Oh look - my contract just expired."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #charge time, #marketing, #reprogram, #compuetr, #radiation, #alter dna, #possible, #business

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Dilbert sits at his computer. An employee peers around the door of Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Ha ha! Now that the engineers must charge their time to marketing, we OWN you!" Dilbert replies, "I'll just reprogram your computer through the LAN so its radiation will alter your DNA." The employee asks, "Is that possible??!" Dilbert responds "As far as you know."