Dilbert: Your second paragraph is pointless and confusing. Let's just delete it. Tina: I'm a highly trained technical writer. What makes you think you can do my job better? Dilbert: That might be a trick questions, but I'm pretty sure the answer is paragraph two.
Tina: I'm collecting money for Scott's birthday present. Dilbert: Let me check my acquaintance price chart to see what he's worth. Do you have change for used gum? Tina: Do you want it in lint or bent staples?
Dilbert, the Boss and two people sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "I don't know why we even bother holding meetings on Friday afternoons . . ." Dilbert continues, "I mean, everybody is brain-dead by now. Is this really productive?" A woman reads a document and says, "Hmm . . . Productive? . . . Hmm . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I'm too late."
Tina: "Dilbert, I'm forming a small clique of all the young, funny, single people in the department."
"We'll have drinks during lunch, talk about ski trips, and have romances within the group."
Dilbert: "Please...just shoot me now."
Tina: "No, no...we need you to do our work."
Dilbert: "I'm wearing a synthetic pheremone scent that makes me irresistible. It should kick in any minute."
Tina: "Uh-oh."
Tina: "Waiter! Here's three hundred dollars. If I start to flirt with him, kill him!"
Dilbert: "So far so good"
Tina: "I've got to...mace...myself..."
Tina: "According to you, if I cut your budget the world will abruptly stop spinning and we'll be flung into space."
Tina: "Whereas, the risk of cutting Dilbert's project is '...a plage of locusts o'er the land.'"
"I'll cut both projects. With any luck, we'll fling the locusts into space."
Wally: "Locusts. Real good."
Tina: Lunch? With you? I'd love to but...uh...
Tina: Im clinically dead, what you see are merely the last involuntary spasms before I stiffen.
Dilbert: I have a hand truck.
Tina: this was a very bad idea.
The caption reads, "Dogbert tweaks Tina the brittle tech writer." Dogbert asks Tina, "What do you think of the movie 'Thelma and Louise?'" Tina responds, "I know what you're trying to say. You think all women are bad drivers. That's really the point of the movie, isn't it??" The caption reads, "If you're not offended yet, tune in tomorrow." Dogbert asks Tina, "The 'Three Stooges?'" Tina cries, "Why are ALL of the documentaries about MEN??!"
Dogbert asks Tina, "Is technical writing the same as word processing?" Tina replies angrily, "No!!!" Tina continues, "I am a highly skilled communications professional! I can take jumbles of inert thoughts and bring them to life!!" The Boss enters and says to Tina, "My secretary is running the staff meeting. I need you to retype this org chart." Dogbert comments, "The doctor is in!"
Dogbert sits at a table with Tina who is growling. Dogbert says, "A while back I asked for opinions about this new character, 'Tina the Brittle Tech Writer.'" Dogbert presents the results, "Most people, including nearly all the self-described feminists, said keep her. But there were many requests to add 'non-stereotypical' female characters for balance." Dogbert points at a muscular woman with a shaved head and says, "In the interest of balance I give you 'Antina.'" Antina says, "Is anybody up for some math?"
