Ad Campaign Comic Strips - Page 6
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Dogbert is meeting with an Elbonian. The Elbonian says, "Elbonia has gotten a bad reputation. We need your help to rebuild our image." The Elbonian continues, "The problem began when we discovered a civilization of leprechauns living under our mud." The Elbonian continues, "Now they're our primary export. But we underestimated the vegetarian backlash."
Our new as caiman willies familiar music from artists who are willing to sell out. Due to budget cuts, we'll limit our search to musicians who are dead but not yet totally decomposed. MAKEUP!!!!
The Boss: "We need a new marketing campaign but we have no budget for it whatsoever." "Who among is is brave enough to lead such a risky project?" "Okay, you're doing the worst job of hiding under the table."
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources AS part of my ongoing campaign against employee happiness.." "Employees are not allowed to date each other." "Now you're forbidden fruit...yummmy." "Stay back, rule-breaker."
Boss: Please stop using email to express your colorful opinions of our marketing campaign. We don't need a discoverable record of you describing our advertising plan as "Pinocchio doing the backstroke in Satan's septic tank." Remember that capitalism without deniability is the same as poverty. Dilbert: Eh?
Man says, "Our marketing campaign depends on a word of mouth. Unfortunately, our product is bad." Man says, "So we found a guy with poor judgment and a huge mouth to say good things." Man 2 says, "Present." Dilbert says, "Marketing isn't a real thing, is it?" Man says, "It's mostly guessing."
The Boss: Dilbert, work with Gustav to get our new product explained on our website. Gustav: Heres what I have so far. Dilbert: Its awful. Gustav: excuse me? Dilbert: there no information. Its all images and annoying music. Dilbert: People make buying decisions based on what they read. This gives them nothing, Gustav: If I clutter the design with useful information, it will look ugly ad I won't be able to use it in my portfolio. I need that portfolio to get a job at a better company, Please help me escape. Gustav: You'll probably work here until you die in your cubicle no matter what the website looks like. The Boss: Did you help Gustav? Dilbert: yes, But it wasn't a good day for our stock holders.
"What's that thing doing here?" "This is my daughter, Traylor." "I brought her to the office so she can learn about working in a corporate environment." "Okay, whatever. I have a new project for you." "Some idiot cut his finger. Now we have to do a safety awareness campaign." "Put on this dog costume. You're the mascot for our 'Spot' the safety hazard campaign." "Whenever anyone walks by, you say, 'Woof woof, don't use scissors.'" "Can I get a tattoo?" "Sure."
Boss: Our health app accurately predicts the user's time of death and sends a five-minute warning. Our business model is paid advertising that we disguise as "death alerts." CEO: How's the click-through rate? Boss: Surprisingly low. It's hard to get people's attention these days.
Boss: We need a tagline for our new product. It should be no more than three words. It should convey an emotion. And it should clearly explain everything the product does. Dilbert: In three words? Boss :I didn't say it would be easy. Nike accomplished all of that with "Just do it." Dilbert: Did they? Because that seems like a generic thing you can say in any situation. Boss: Just do it! Alice: How about "Keep doing it?" Is that one taken?