Adopt Program Comic Strips - Page 6

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133 Results for Adopt Program

View 51 - 60 results for adopt program comic strips. Discover the best "Adopt Program" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2002's comic on:


Tags #empty cubicles, #frightens customres, #adopt cubicle, #decorate, #appear occupied, #phil de cube, #imaginary employee

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "We have too many empty cubicles. It frightens our customers." The Boss continues, "Each of you will adopt an empty cubicle and decorate it to appear occupied." Wally and Dilbert are walking out. Wally says, "My imaginary employee will be a Frenchman named Phil de Cube." Dilbert responds, "Nice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2002's comic on:


Tags #war on waste, #wear shirt, #honk, #blow nose, #program

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The Boss picks up a T-Shirt that says "Wow" and exclaims, "Each of you will get a shirt as part of my war on waste program!" Dilbert responds, "I wouldn't wear that shirt at home or in the office, so what good is..." Wally blows his nose loudly into a shirt, "Honk!" Dilbert says, "Oh. Nevermind."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2003's comic on:


Tags #marketing genius, #rebate program, #process, #impenetrable fortress, #unclear instructions, #physical impossibilities, #hidden 300 digit, #serial number

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Headline: Marketing Genius. A business associate says to The Boss and Wally, "We designed a rebate program that won't cost a penny." The business associate continues, "The rebate process is an impenetrable fortress of unclear instructions and physical impossibilities. An elderly couple sits at a table reviewing bills. The man says, "Next time we have to find the hidden 300-digit serial number and write it in a box that's half an inch long." The woman replies, "Stinkin' weasels."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2003's comic on:


Tags #unspecified short comings, #co worker, #accuser, #witness protection program, #boss, #meeting, #business

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Dilbert sits in The Boss' office. The Boss says, "A co-worker who shall remain nameless has accused you of unspecified shortcomings." The Boss continues, "Your accuser has been placed in the witness protection program." Dilbert asks, "You have a program for that?" The Boss replies, "Actually, I just forget who says what."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2003's comic on:


Tags #coffee rehab program, #blame location, #world headquaters, #recidivism rate

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The speaker greets Wally, "Wally, congratulations on finishing the coffee rehab program." A cab is waiting for Wally. The speaker says, "Our recidivism rate isn't too hot. Our critics blame our location." Wally's cab is parked in front of Starbucks World Headquarters. A voice from inside the building asks, "Who's swimming in our vat?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2003's comic on:


Tags #lose language skill, #using words, #wrong context, #adopt them, #truculent, #doctrinaire, #obelisk, #cervically

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"I'm trying to make him lose his language skills." "I've been using words in the wrong context and waiting for him to adopt them." "Carol, could you truculent this doctrinaire to the obelisk?" "Cervically."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2004's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #himan resources, #cheaper, #employee wellness program, #sick days, #incentives, #highly paid workers, #more fun

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"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "I can't decide what's cheaper..." "...An employee wellness program to reduce sick days or incentivizing the older, highly paid workers to die." "Maybe you could use math to figure it out." "When I said cheaper, I meant more fun."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2004's comic on:


Tags #suspicious, #nap, #evil director, #wellness program, #human resources, #business

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"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "Have you heard about the employee wellness program?" "If you call in sick on a Monday or a Friday, your boss says, 'Well, well, well- that's very suspicious.'" "Now if you'll excuse me, I feel a nap coming on."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2006's comic on:


Tags #plant maintenance, #contract, #save money, #adopt plant, #unluckiest plant, #coffee dregs

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"We canceled our plant maintenance contract to save money." "Each employee will adopt a nearby plant and water it." The Unluckiest Plant in the Whole World "Now when I pour my coffee dregs on you, it will look like work!" "Must...run..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2007's comic on:


Tags #mapped and gapped, #consolidate, #program of work, #maximize synergy, #capture and optimize, #resource utilization, #requirements

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Wally: "This week I mapped and gapped the requirements to consolidate everything into a program of work..." "...to maximize synergy capture and optimize our resource utilization." "If any of that sounded like work, I'll do some more of it next week."