Another Vendor Comic Strips - Page 6

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View 51 - 60 results for another vendor comic strips. Discover the best "Another Vendor" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vendor, #integrates, #resources, #optimize, #performance, #technology, #integrated

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Headline: The Vendor That Couldn't Describe His Company's Product. A salesman says, "It integrates the resources..." The salesman continues, "To optimize the performance of technology." Dilbert asks, "Yeah, but what is it?" The salesman responds, "Hey, if you don't want your resources to be integrated, just say so."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #price quote, #every expense, #alice side agreement, #hidden costs, #customer punch vendor, #freaking weasel

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"As you requested, this price quote includes absolutely every expense you'll incur!" "If that's true, you won't mind signing the 'Alice Side Agreement." "'In the event of hidden costs, customer will repeatedly punch vendor while telling 'you freaking weasel!'" "Pen?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best negotiator, #vendor, #engineering, #training, #resist, #facts, #infinite liability, #unidentified gizma

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The Boss: "The vendor is sending their best negotiator." "You must use all of your engineering training to resist her tricks and look only at the facts." woman: "And if you agree to infinite liability, you get a .00001% chance of dating me. Plus a minute to play with an unidentified gizmo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vendor list, #excuses, #same excuses, #password, #palusible, #changed

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"Wally, do you have the approved vendor list?" "It's on the net. The password is 'Wally.'" "Hmm, you always say information is on the net when I know it's not. Yet, by mentioning a password it sounds plausible." "So, first I'll find out that the password has changed. Then I'll find out the list is out of date. What am I forgetting?" "User name."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invoice, #preferred vendor system, #quality product, #scowl, #small biuinessman

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I may be a small businessman but I can provide a quality product to your company. The Boss: I'll ask alice to show you how to get into our referred vendor system. Alice: He can already invoice! Wally: he has your scowl.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #another company, #determine cause

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"This is Dogbert's tech support. Your problem is caused by another company's product or services." "Shouldnt I tell you my problem before you determine the cause?" "Okay, let's pretend that will change my answer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #single source vendor, #job offer, #vp title, #waiting eriod

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The boss: Okay, I convinced my company to make you our single source vendor. I assume you'll be make me a job offer now. any vp title will be fine. I'll just take an empty office. There ...is...a...waiting period!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vendor, #couldn't say no, #customized, #our needs assembled and insalled, #preloathing, #promises you won't keep

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The vendor who couldn't say no, DIlbertL I need fifteen units bu tuesday. You got it, Dilbert: I want them customized for our needs assembled and installed by wednesday. You got it! Dilbert: Im loathing yo in advance for making promises you won't keep, Pre loathing I get that a lot,\.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vendor, #reorganization, #staff

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"How could you tell a vendor about out reorganization before you tell your own staff?" "Scoot." "Come into my office and we can discuss it." "Gaaaa!!! It's a trick. "C'mon phone, ring!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tell vendor, #combination, #lack of importance, #total insignificant

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Why would my boss tell a vendor our strategy and not tell me? "It's probably a combination of your lack of importance and your total insignificance." "Do you have anymore questions like that one?"