Search Results for "avoid conversation"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2004's comic on:


Tags #no annual raises, #ouift, #cafeteria napkins, #colonize mars, #distractions, #guide conversation away

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources The Boss: How do I tell people that there won't be any annual raises?" CAtbert: If someone tries to raise the topic, guide the conversation away." "...And thats why my outfit is made of cafeteria napkins." "Do you think we'll ever colonize Mars?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2005's comic on:


Tags #shoddy mistakes, #meeting, #avoid mistakes, #documented process, #keep hearing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "In order to avoid shoddy mistakes, everything we do from now on will be part of a documented process." Wally: "What documented process did you use to decide what documented process to use?" wally: "Or is this one of those shoddy mistakes I keep hearing about?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #avoid facts, #cubicle, #paid commissions, #sales engineer, #truth, #sales rep

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I'm making you a sales engineer. You'll be paid on commission." "When our sales reps lie, it will be your job to make it look like the truth." "Try to avoid facts."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2013's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #conversation, #natural leader, #communication skills, #context, #great communicator

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm what you call a natural leader because of my communication skills. Dilbert: Did I miss the context for this conversation? I have no idea why you're talking. Boss: Why does everything you say annoy me? Is it because you're a great communicator?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2008's comic on:


Tags #abe lincoln, #avoid comparisons, #fords theater, #media trainer, #sandwhich, #company future

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: Carefully choose your words when talking about the company's future. For example, avoid comparisons to Abe Lincoln at Ford's Theatre, 'Circling the drain,' and anything involving flies."And never, ever refer to the company as any kind of sandwich you wouldn't want to eat." CEO: That's my favorite one!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2008's comic on:


Tags #health problems, #absenteeism, #raise, #avoid exercise

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Health problems and absenteeism are a huge cost to this business." The Boss says, "So?" Wally says, "So give me a raise, or I'll eat unhealthy food and avoid all forms of exercise." The Boss says, "You already do those things." Wally says, "How could you possibly know that?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #no right to opinion, #conversation, #convey useful info, #bonding

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "And then she acted as if I have no right to my opinion!" Dilbert says, "Is the point of this conversation to convey useful information, or just to make yourself feel better at my expense?" Tina says, "Maybe we're bonding." Dilbert says, "Maybe not."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2010's comic on:


Tags #reprimand, #sign-off, #marketing, #paper, #vivid memory, #unicorns, #false, #conversation, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I told you to get a sign-off from marketing before you sent this around." Dilbert says, "How vivid is your false memory of that conversation?" The Boss says, "It's plenty vivid." Dilbert says, "Were unicorns involved?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2010's comic on:


Tags #avoid work, #lazy, #love, #crazy, #insane, #stalking, #old carpet, #married, #wide eyes, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "Wally, you helped me avoid work, and now I can't help loving you." Carol says, "I show my love by a combination of insanity and stalking." Wally says, "Aren't you married?" Carol says, "You owe me an old carpet."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2010's comic on:


Tags #mishear, #avoid work, #lazy, #no shame, #pour coffee, #budget estimate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Rumor has it that you're pretending to hear things wrong to avoid work." Wally says, "It works great. The secret is to have no shame whatsoever." Coworker says, "Wally, do you have the revised budget estimate?" Wally says, "No, because you asked for a remized bugmet yestitet."