Ax Falls Comic Strips - Page 6

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59 Results for Ax Falls

View 51 - 59 results for ax falls comic strips. Discover the best "Ax Falls" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2003's comic on:


Tags #coffee rehadb, #rip beard, #death, #state name, #coffee addicting withdrawl, #sleeping, #mean, #nasty, #cutting, #violent, #falls asleep, #medical

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Headline: Coffee Rehab. A man stands at a podium and says, "State your name and how long you've been without coffee." The audience is asleep except for one angry patient who says, "I am going to rip off your little beard and beat you to death with it." The man at the podium thinks to himself, "Don't panic... wait... wait...." The angry patient continues, "And then I'll... um... zzzzzzz, zzzzz, zzz."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2004's comic on:


Tags #corrective lens, #fall in urinal, #calls 911, #building, #happened

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Wally: "To what project would I charge my time in the following situation?" "Let's say that a pair of corrective lenses falls in a urinal, and the owner freaks out and calls 911..." "It hasn't happened yet but I can feel it building up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2006's comic on:


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"I cannot decide if you are very wise or just a big stupid moron." "Well, I'll tell you, little cowpoke, when the snake falls in love with the spaghetti, it's time to buy a new hat." "You look more flustered than a barefoot squirrel at a tire store." "Gaaa!!! They almost make sense!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2009's comic on:


Tags #dreams, #aspiration, #angry, #scared, #yelling, #economy, #screaming

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Asok says, "I'm recalibrating my hopes and dreams to be consistent with the state of the economy." Asok says, "My new goal is to not be smothered to death by an old mattress that falls off a salvage truck." Asok says, "And I am saving money by drinking nothing but mugs of stale air." Wally says, "You're scaring my coffee!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #boss, #Dilbert, #dont idel well, #freaks out, #gets phone call, #lost connection, #meeting, #sit still challenge, #mind body connection, #business

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The Boss calls after Dilbert, "Dilbert, come here for a minute." The Boss and Dilbert are walking towards The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "I need to talk to you about..." He is interrupted by the ringing telephone. The Boss is on the telephone. He holds up his finger at Dilbert. Dilbert thinks, "He's giving me the 'wait' signal." Dilbert continues to think, "I have nothing to look at, nothing to fiddle with, nothing to do." Dilbert continues to think, "I'll try thinking about how my mind controls my muscles." Dilbert's arms start shaking. He thinks, "Uh-oh... I'm getting too conscious of my muscles and it's freaking me out." Dilbert falls back and exclaims, "Gaaa!!! I've lost my mind-body connection!!" Dilbert is on the floor with his feet up in the air. The Boss says into the phone, "The problem with my engineers is that they don't idle well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2002's comic on:


Tags #daring commando raid, #internet provider, #cancel, #phone or email, #service agreement, #stun gun, #overused joke

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Dilbert is dressed in all purple, carrying a rope over his shoulder. He says to Dogbert, "Would you like to join me on a daring commando raid?" Dogbert replies, "Sure." Dilbert says, "Do you want to know why?" Dogbert responds, "Not really." Dilbert, Dogbert, and Bob the Dinosaur all have purple masks on. Dilbert says, "My internet provider won't let me cancel by phone or by e-mail." Dilbert continues, "The service agreement says I have to stage a daring commando raid on their headquarters." Bob asks, "Does this mask make me look fat?" Dogbert zaps Bob with a stun gun and says, "That joke is overused Bob." Bob falls over. Dogbert says to Dilbert, "The stun gun is in good working order." Dilbert and Dogbert are walking outside. Dilbert says, "Maybe I should carry the stun gun." Dogbert responds, "Don't worry, I'll do you last."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2013's comic on:


Tags #baby, #falls, #game, #management fast track, #money, #money bags, #punch wessel, #rescuing plastic baby, #test, #weasel, #greed, #failed test

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Catbert: Your first test on the management fast track involves rescuing a plastic baby and a bag of money from a weasel. You must punch the weasel then catch the money and the baby before they reach the ground. I found our next CEO. Wally: Wait...say this instructions again.

Boss Falls Off Bridge

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Boss Falls Off Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2015's comic on:


Tags #walking, #meeting, #meetings, #accident, #difficult, #gimmick, #manager, #idea, #ideas, #distraction, #Sports, #business

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Boss: My new thing is taking long walks instead of having meetings. Wow. It is hard to walk, read, think, talk, and drink coffee at the same time. Dilbert: He fell off a bridge. Carol: That's why I schedule walking meetings for him.

Dilbert Falls Asleep At The Wheel

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Dilbert Falls Asleep At The Wheel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #safety, #catch-22, #fatigue, #accident, #driving

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Dilbert: I fell asleep at the wheel because I stayed up all night to meet your deadline. I had to work all night because you made me attend a mandatory safety meeting yesterday. But at least I got my work done on time. Boss: I forgot to tell you the meeting got moved to next week.