Boss Doubts Dilbert Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Boss Doubts Dilbert

View 51 - 60 results for boss doubts dilbert comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Doubts Dilbert" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 1999's comic on:


Tags #iso 9000, #falsify documents, #comapliance, #liance, #fraud, #cheat, #lie, #steal, #boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, the boss, and Dilbert are in a meeting. The boss says, "In addition to ISO 9000, we will strive to be QS-9000 compliant." The boss continues, "That means falsifying the following documents: QSR, APQP, FMEA, MSA, SPC, PPAP and QSA." "Remember, you can't spell compliance without "liance"..."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2000's comic on:


Tags #ceo selling stock, #portfolio, #routine diversification, #sell, #sudden panic, #employees, #boss, #ceo, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Studying company financial information at his terminal, Dilbert exclaims: "Yikes! Our CEO is selling his stock!" At the Boss's office, the Boss reassures Dilbert: "Don't worry. It's routine diversification of his portfolio." Dilbert says: "Oh...I guess that's okay." Meanwhile the Boss stares at his computer screen and furiously works the keyboard as he thinks to himself: "Sell, sell, sell."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2003's comic on:


Tags #pecking order, #fool, #stupid, #Dilbert, #coffee cup

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands in front of his manager's desk. The manager yells, "You fool! How could you be so stupid!" The Boss approaches Dilbert and yells, "You fool! How could you be so stupid!" Dilbert picks up his coffee mug and yells, "You stupid coffee mug!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 1999's comic on:


Tags #budget estimate, #useful numbers, #boss hibernation, #say number, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the Intern and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss comes in and says, "I need your budget estimate today." Asok replies, "We won't have useful numbers until next week." Dilbert turns and says, "It doesn't work that way, Asok." Asok says, "No?" Asok and Dilbert approach the Boss who stares blankly into space. Dilbert explains, "As soon as he asked the question, he went into 'boss hibernation.'" Dilbert waves his hand in front of his face and says, "He can't see or hear anything until we say a number. Watch." Dilbert says, "Three million dollars." The Boss comes to and says, "Uhn!" The Boss walks away and says, "Three million. Good work." Dilbert says, "The first time I saw it, I panicked and ended up with a budget of $911."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dumb boss, #tape measure, #postage on email, #my boss is so dumb

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted, Dilbert and Carol sit at a conference table. Ted says, "My boss is so dumb, He brought a tape measure to a distance learning class." Everyone laughs, "HA HA HA HA!" Carol says, "My boss is so dumb..." Carol says, "He puts postage stamps on his e-mail. Now he can't see his pc screen." Everyone laughs, "HA HA HA HA!" Ted says to Dilbert, "How about you, Dilbert? Do you have any dumb boss jokes?" The Boss enters the conference room. The Boss says, "Dilbert, my pc is warm. I think our fire wall is acting up." Ted pats Dilbert on the back and says, "We're sorry." Carol says, "We didn't know."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2001's comic on:


Tags #projects fail, #have in common, #points to boss, #honest, #sneezes, #figuring the problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Asok the Intern are all sitting around a table. The Boss says, "We've got to figure out why all our projects fail." The Boss looks at Alice and asks, "What do all our projects have in common?" Behind The Boss' back, Wally points with both hands at The Boss. The Boss says to Wally, "It might not be obvious." Behind The Boss' back, Alice points with both hands at The Boss. Looking at Alice, The Boss says, "But if we're honest with ourselves..." Behind The Boss' back, Wally holds up a piece of paper with a large arrow on it pointing at The Boss. The Boss says, "We can find the source of the problem." Alice says, "Ah-ah-ah-" as she begins to sneeze. Wally scratches his head with a piece of paper to the sounds of "scratch scratch." Alice sneezes, "Ach-itz-you!!" The Boss says, "Gesundheit." The Boss asks, "So, does anyone know what the problem is?" Alice looks on as Wally says to The Boss, "I've noticed that Dilbert doesn't work as hard as I think he should."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2000's comic on:


Tags #good manager, #hires samrter, #boss dumber, #ceo, #dumbest person, #bad managers, #doomed, #motivational meeting, #high five

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice, and Asok are in a meeting. The Boss explains, "A good manager hires people who are smarter than he is." Wally asks, "So... your boss is dumber than you?" Alice asks, "And your boss' boss is dumber yet?" Then, Dilbert says, "According to your theory, our CEO is the dumbest person in the company." Wally adds, "Unless all of you are bad managers." And Asok says, "Truly we are doomed either way." The Boss responds, "This concludes the motivational part of the meeting." Wally says to the Boss, "I'd give you a high five but I don't like to move."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2014's comic on:


Tags #correct data, #incorrect data, #interactions with boss, #questioning, #totally accurate, #desk, #computer, #office, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you sure the data you gave me is correct? Dilbert: I've been giving you incorrect data for years. This is the first time you've asked. Boss: What? Dilbert: I said the data is totally accurate.

Dilbert Almost Done Commenting

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Almost Done Commenting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags #insult, #insulting, #idiot, #criticism, #critique, #name-calling

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you comment on my technology strategy yet? Dilbert: Almost done. Do you object to the word "idiot?" Boss: Yes. Dilbert: I might need another day.

Dogbert The Meeting Referee

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert The Meeting Referee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #story, #time-wasting, #red card, #Wally, #refree

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, the meeting referee. The Boss: That reminds me of a story. Dogbert: Tweet! Fifteen-yard penalty for a time-wasting story! The Boss: I''ll make it quick. Dogbert: Red card!