Boss Life Story Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Boss Life Story

View 51 - 60 results for boss life story comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Life Story" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 2002's comic on:


Tags #feedback meeting, #ball rolling, #long tern strategy, #leak to competition, #crushing, #cubicle dwelling, #optimists life, #never easy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Welcome to my quarterly employee feedback meeting." The Boss continues, "Who wants to get the ball rolling?" Asok raises his hand. Asok says, "It would be helpful if you told us our company's long term strategy." The Boss responds, "Oh, would it?" The Boss continues, "Why? So you can leak it to our competitors?" The Boss stands and yells, "Here's your stupid suggestion in my hand! I'm crushing it! Crush, crush, crush!!!!" The Boss pretends to stuff something in his mouth and yells, "Now I'll chew it up so I can spit it in your cubicle-dwelling face!!!" As they're walking out, Wally says to Asok, "You fell for that trap last quarter too." Asok replies, "An optimist's life is never easy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2013's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #internet & world wide web, #pride, #google, #smart, #pure energy, #life form, #gmail

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss; I hired an engineer from Google. He's so smart that he evolved into a life-form that exists as pure energy. Engineer: Bow before my greatness, you pitiful humans! Boss: Sometimes he's a bit arrogant. Engineer: I once added a feature to gmail!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #basket cases, #bottom dollar, #dysfunction, #mentor, #new hire, #office equipment, #office robot, #human life, #less important

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need someone to mentor our new hire, but every one of you is dysfunctional. So I'm having our office robot do the mentoring. It can't be worse than you basket cases. Employee: So... human life is less important than office equipment? Robot: Far less. It's not even close.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2014's comic on:


Tags #public speaking, #slides tell a story, #status of project, #clown, #broken watch, #eagle, #technology, #old shoe, #storm drain, #pie chart, #dcitionary, #images, #offcie, #cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Experts say your slides should tell a story in pictures. Start with an image that captures the status of your project. Dilbert: How about this image of a clown with a broken watch? Boss: I was thinking eagle. Dilbert: Fine. Eagle. Boss: Now find an image that shows our technology strategy. Dilbert: How about this image of an old show in a storm drain? Boss: I was thinking pie chart. Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Now for the words. Dilbert: How about this image of a dictionary?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2014's comic on:


Tags #dieting & weight control, #stress, #overeating, #willpower, #downside, #20 year reduction, #life expectency

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I took your advice to start overeating so I could save all of my willpower for work. The only downside is a twenty-year reduction in my life expectancy. Boss: Are you okay with that? Dilbert: Who would want twenty extra years of my life?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2014's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #crimes, #mobile (cell) phones, #large screen smartphone, #stealing, #life of crime, #chosen lifestyle

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You have a large-screen smartphone, and yet you don't work while walking from one place to another. That's like stealing from the company. Dilbert: I didn't realize I had chose a life of crime. Dogbert: And you're not even doing it right.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2014's comic on:


Tags #efficiency experts, #medicines, #more motivated, #competetive, #safe and natural, #side effects, #psychopathy, #improved dating life, #needle, #injection

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I found a quick way to make you more motivated and competitive. I know it's safe because it's all natural. The only known side effects are psychopathy and an improved dating life.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #catch-22, #compliment, #compliments, #insult, #insulting, #work ethic, #technical skills, #perfect attendance, #risk averse, #no social life, #irrational needs, #code writing puppet

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're a perfect employee in many ways. Dilbert: I am? Boss: For example, you have excellent technical skills. Dilbert: That's true. Boss: And your attendance is perfect. Dilbert: Yes, it is. Boss: And you are too risk-averse to quit and start your own company. Dilbert: What? Boss: Plus, you have no social life to interfere with work.Dilbert: Are these still compliments? Boss: Combine all of that with your irrational need for approval, and it makes you a code-writing puppet. Did I already say you're underpaid? Dilbert: Stop complimenting me!

Doubling Percieved Lifespan

Thank you for voting.
Doubling Percieved Lifespan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #time, #boredom, #sarcasm, #lifespan, #life, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Researchers discovered a way to double the perceived length of a human's life. It's something called "meetings." Boss: Can we start now? Dilbert: I though we were already an hour into it.

Boss Can't Be Your Friend

Thank you for voting.
Boss Can't Be Your Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #boss, #double standard, #employee, #hierarchy, #lunch, #rank, #guest artist, #jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you want to go to lunch? Boss: I can't be your friend because I'm your boss. Someday I might need to fire you, and it would be awkward if we were friends. Alice: Want to go to lunch? Boss: Sure.