Boss Says Not Real Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Boss Says Not Real

View 51 - 60 results for boss says not real comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Says Not Real" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #rivers, #trees, #management, #variety, #dangerous, #tasks, #woods, #survival, #depend, #creativity, #ability, #team-building, #exercise, #headcount, #reduction

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "I'm sending all of you to the 'Rivers and Trees' management course." The Boss continues, "There you'll be asked to perform a variety of dangerous tasks in the woods. Your survival will depend on your creativity and ability to work together." Dilbert says, "Oh, so it's a team-building exercise." The Boss replies, "I think of it more as a headcount reduction thing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #management, #expert, #decide, #demanding

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "So, you're a time management expert huh? Might be useful . . . I'll let you know . . ." Dogbert screams, "Decide now! Do it! Do it, do it! Now now now now!" The Boss says, "You're good . . . When can you start?" Dogbert replies, "I'll get back to you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #humor, #workplace, #tension, #employee, #Wally, #alice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and a woman, "I've decided to use humor in the workplace." The Boss continues, "Experts say humor eases tension which is important in times when the workforce is being trimmed." The Boss says to an employee, "Knock-knock." The man asks, "Who's there?" The Boss answers, "Not you anymore."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #humor, #Dilbert, #the boss, #tension, #engineers, #lightbulb, #appraisal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I'm going to use humor to ease the tension during your annual job performance appraisal." The Boss asks, "How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?" Dilbert says, "I don't know." The Boss says, "Well, that's consistent with your appraisal." Dilbert says, "Wait . . . I'll say three."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #violence, #the boss, #employee, #humor, #tension, #creativity, #slam

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to an employee, "I'm using humor at work to ease tension and improve our creativity." The Boss slams the man's head into his keyboard and laughs. The Boss walks away leaving the man looking dazed. The Boss thinks, "That loosened him up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #violence, #the boss, #Dilbert, #alice, #ted, #program, #humor, #kick me, #relaxed, #creative, #advantage, #situation

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands a sign to Dilbert, Alice and Ted. The Boss says, "As part of my program to use more humor at work, I'm asking each of you to wear a 'kick me' sign." The Boss tapes a sign to Dilbert's back and says, "I'll check later to see if you're more relaxed and creative." Later, the Boss says to Alice, "You seem to be taking unfair advantage of the situation, Alice." Dilbert and two male co-workers stand covering their groins and looking like they are in pain.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #alice, #Dilbert, #video game, #plateau, #Kids, #outside, #diversify, #pollute

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Alice, Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our video game division has reached a sales plateau." The Boss continues, "Kids are spending more time outside these days. There's only one thing we can do." Dilbert asks, "Diversify?" The Boss replies, "Pollute!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #transferred, #assignments, #management, #yanking, #chain, #over-communicating, #manager, #sales

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, you're being temporarily transferred to the field sales organization." The Boss continues, "Normally we use these assignments to round somebody out for management. But in this case I'm just yanking your chain!" Dilbert says, "You're over-communicating again, sir." The Boss continues, "Plus, I hate the manager of sales."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #report, #utilize, #facilitate, #replace, #implementation, #phase, #readable, #fax, #type, #size

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk reading a report while Dilbert stands waiting. The Boss says, "Good report, but change the word 'use' to 'utilize' in each case." The Boss continues, "Change 'help' to 'facilitate' and replace 'do' with 'implementation phase.'" The Boss continues, "Hmm . . . It's still a bit too readable." Dilbert replies, "I could reduce the type size and run it through the fax."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #wimpy, #management, #techniques, #empowerment, #quality, #memo, #shock, #subjective, #electric

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss thinks, "I've had enough of those wimpy management techniques like 'empowerment' and 'quality.'" The Boss stands behind an employee who is wearing a headband with a receiver on it. The Boss says, "Write a BETTER memo or I'll send a strong shock to your head." The Boss presses a button on his belt and the man receives a shock. The Boss looks at the reader and says, "The best part is that it's all subjective."