Broken Promise Comic Strips - Page 6
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Carol, the Boss's secretary, is taking wirting in a note pad. She says to Wally, "Are you free on Thursday for Ted's surprise party?" Wally says, "Party? You don't give a party for someone who has a death in the family." Carol says, "Well... we got him a card, then flowers. It just snowballed." Wally says, "I assume this will all be in good taste." Carol says, "I can't promise that. Karaoke is really hit or miss."
The Boss walks by and Dilbert says to him, "Please don't promise the product manager more than we can deliver." The product manager says to the Boss, "We need a totally new software interface in one month." The Boss replies, "You got it!" The woman continues, "And rewrite the operating system so we dominate the industry." The Boss says, "Concurrent development. Check." The woman thinks, "Suddenly I feel omnipotent." She stands up and says, "I want all new hardware, anti-gravity packaging, holographic agents . . ." The Boss yawns. The manager asks, "Can your team really do that in a month?" The Boss replies, "Let me get their reaction." The Boss shows Wally a document. Wally screams and his skull pops out of his mouth. Wally lies on the floor twitching. The Boss says, "Pessimism will not look good on your permformance review."
Wally sits at his desk and Dilbert stands behind him. The Boss enters and says, "I made a few changes to the design." Dilbert reads a document and looks shocked. He says, "We'll have to work around the clock for months to make these changes!!" The Boss says, "Work smarter, not harder." Wally looks at the changes and says, "You're trying to violate the laws of physics!" The Boss replies, "Rules were made to be broken." Dilbert says, "This design would create enough radiation to instantly kill the user!!" The Boss walks away and says, "Be sure to mention that in the documentation." Dilbert says to Wally, "Let's work smarter not harder." Wally replies, "I think we found the only 'beta' tester we'll need."
Caption: "The Corporate Lawyer" A lawyer talks to Dilbert. The lawyer says, "Let's prepare for your court testimony. I'll pretend to be the other side." The lawyer says, "Liar! Why is your attorney so handsome?" and hits Dilbert in the face with a newspaper. Dilberts glasses are broken. Dilbert says, "They can hit me?" The lawyer says, "I don't see why not."
Dilbert is sitting at a table with a co-worker. The co-worker tells Dilbert: "I'll get this information for you." Dilbert replies: "No you won't. You'll wait until I hunt you down and then you'll say you were too busy." On the couch at home with Dogbert, Dilbert says: "Today I started hating people in advance." Dogbert replies: "It saves time."
Alice returns to her cubicle to find Dilbert hanging upside-down in the trap she set. Dilbert asks Alice, "Alice, did you booby-trap your cubicle?" Alice answers, "The question is, why are you in my cubicle?" Dilbert replies, "What if I promise to never again borrow your guest chair?"
The Boss says to his staff during a meeting, "From now on, this is going to be a fun organization." Wally asks the Boss, "When are you leaving?" The meeting ends and Wally and Dilbert are leaving the room. Wally's glasses are broken and he looks like he's been ruffed up a little. Wally says to Dilbert, "I had no idea that a rubber chicken could hurt so much."
The boss is standing behind Dilbert. The boss says, "I just met with the Birdabon Society. I had to promise we won't hurt any birds." The boss continues, "Our caterer served chicken sandwiches for lunch." The boss says, "I pretended to give mine CPR but I was really eating it."
The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, I have to downsize you as soon as you finish your project." The Boss continues, "I trust that your professionalism will prevent you from delaying unnecessarily." Wally responds, "I promise that my timeliness will be surpassed only by my passion for quality."
The Boss is with a toothless man who has a broken arm and an eye patch. The Boss says to Dilbert, "Meet your new cubicle neighbor. His name is Mel." The Boss continues, "Mel will be making loud personal calls all day." Dilbert is sitting in his cubicle. He hears Mel on the phone, "Is it supposed to make a squishy sound? Listen to this..."