Burn In Hell Comic Strips - Page 6

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132 Results for Burn In Hell

View 51 - 60 results for burn in hell comic strips. Discover the best "Burn In Hell" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #snoring, #bed, #use both nostrils, #enjoy yelling

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Dilbert lies in bed, under the covers. Dogbert stands on Dilbert's stomach. Dogbert says, "I can no longer hold this inside." Dogbert says, "You call that breathing??! Get the other nostril involved!" Dogbert walks away. Dogbert wags his tail. Dogbert thinks, "I wonder if he'll ever realize that I just enjoy yelling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 1994's comic on:


Tags #business, #competition, #control, #deadbeats, #for scuccess, #mangers, #reorganize, #subgroup, #thrown out window, #whiners

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- How to reorganize for success Put All your deadbeats and whiners in one sub group. Deadbeats: we don't want to be a subgroup. -Give them a project that duplicates work being done by more competent people elsewhere in the company.- Soon, the manager of the competent people will find out you're duplicating his work. Man: You're on my turf Dogbert: Boo hoo - He'll make a play to get your project under his control.- Man: They should be transferred to my control. - Before you transfer the deadbeats. Give them high performance reviews to conceal your treachery Deadbeat: Godlike ? wow! Dogbert: I'll miss you. - In time, the manager who took your losers will fail, this decreasing competition for promotions. AAIIII!! Dogbert: Next week I'll discuss teamwork - the managers obstacle to success.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 1995's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #wouldn't conclude, #pregnant pauses, #window of opportunity, #reinterating, #hake hand, #awkward pause, #business

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Dilbert and a man sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "So . . . Okay, great . . ." The man says, "Alright then . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I'm trapped in the meeting that would not conclude!!" Dilbert thinks, "I'm too polite to say 'We're done. Please leave.'" The man says, "Like I said before . . ." Dilbert covers his eyes and thinks, "Oh no! I missed the window - he's reiterating!!!" Dilbert says, "So . . . Okay, great . . ." The man says, "Alright then . . ." Dilbert thinks, "Maybe if I shake his hand he'll leave." The man says, "But like I said before . . ." Dilbert waves his arms and shouts, "Nooooooo!!" Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Then there was sort of a long awkward pause . . ." Dogbert says, "So . . . Okay, great . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 1997's comic on:


Tags #address envelope, #death penalty, #helpless, #master plan, #one way trip, #solve small problems, #speaking engilsh, #training, #south korea

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The Boss holds a letter and says, "Carol, how do I address an envelope?" Carol, his secretary, sings, "I'll do it." Carol explains to Dilbert, "I'm training him to be helpless." She says, "It's part of my master plan to eliminate him." Carol says, "I do everything for him. Soon he'll lose his ability to solve small problems alone." She says, "Then I'll 'accidentally' book him on a one-way trip to South Korea." Carol says, "Before he goes, I'll tell him they have a death penelty for speaking English." Carol laughs a maniacal laugh and says, "We'll never see him again. Buwahaha!" Dilbert walks off and says, "It's worth a shot." The Boss calls from his office and says, "Carol, how do I dial for an outside line?" Carol says, "I'll do it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 1998's comic on:


Tags #bred, #work in cubicle, #personal life, #stealing, #good square meal, #square head

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The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, this is Rex Tangle, our newest employee." Rex is completely square, with flat sides to his head and torso. The Boss says, "Rex was specially bred to work in a cubicle." Wally says, "Looks like he'll fit right in." The Boss says, "Ask him about his personal life." Wally says, "Rex, how's your personal life?" Rex says, "I don't have one. That would be like stealing from the company." A little heart showing love floats above The Boss's head. Wally and Rex walk off. Wally asks, "So, do you eat lunch?" Rex says, "I would enjoy a good square meal." Dilbert and alice are sitting in the company cafeteria eating their lunches. Wally says, "Meet the future." Rex says, "Hello, you round pegs!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 1999's comic on:


Tags #most common metal errors, #hot day, #heel, #add anew category

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Dogbert stands in Dilbert's cubicle with a clipboard. Dogbert says, "In order to save time, I made a checklist of your most common mental errors." Dilbert says, "It'll be a hot day in hell before you need that, my friend." Dogbert looks at the paper and says, "I need a new category."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2000's comic on:


Tags #dogcart investments, #1% annual fee, #invest money, #certified financial planner, #make money

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Dogbert investments: Dogbert and the boss are sitting in a meeting. Dogbert says to the boss: "For a 1% annual fee I will invest your money with a certified financial planner." Dogbert says: "He'll charge 1% per year to put your money in mutual funds that charge 1% per year." The boss asks: "Will I make any money?" Dogbert answers: " I don't see you doing any of the work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2000's comic on:


Tags #waiting, #stock isn't vested, #over flow, #limbo, #hell

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Dilbert thinks to himself in front of his computer terminal: "I can't do anything because I'm always waiting for someone else." Phil, the Ruler of Heck, appears and says to Dilbert: "And you can't quit because your stock isn't vested." Dilbert asks Phil: "Am I in Heck?" The latter replies: "No. I'm just working the overflow from limbo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2000's comic on:


Tags #meeting with boss, #speak frankly, #problems in dept, #ask out

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Alice says to the Boss, "I scheduled a meeting with your boss." The Boss looks startled. Alice continues, "He'll probably ask me to speak frankly about any problems in the department." The Boss thinks to himself, "This couldn't get any worse." Alice says to the Boss, "He's cute. I might ask him out."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2000's comic on:


Tags #feminist freak out, #hin, #hiney, #tall the hun, #behind back, #harsh, #slave driver, #ruthless, #alice

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The Boss, reaching for a paper that Alice is handing him, says, "Thanks, Hun." Alice exclaims, "Hon?!" Alice says to The Boss, "You sexist %!*%! I will burn your village and make slaves of your children!" The Boss says to Alice, "It's short for Attila the Hun. Everyone calls you that." Alice says, "That seems harsh."