Bussiness Projects Comic Strips - Page 6

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View 51 - 60 results for bussiness projects comic strips. Discover the best "Bussiness Projects" comics from Dilbert.com.

Charge All Hours To Projects

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Charge All Hours To Projects - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags logic, billing, honesty, fraud, money, time

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Boss: Make sure you charge 100 percent of your time to project codes. Dilbert: Are you asking us to fraudulently apply our miscellaneous hours to specific projects so we can overbill clients? Boss: It's not a crime if you pretend it was an accident. Dilbert: Did you learn that in "flaw" school?

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags my value, new assignments, projects, slow walker, rivals in management

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The Boss: Wally, Im promoting you to the position of slow walker. Wally: I am almost curious about what that entails. The Boss: I'll be giving you all the assignments that could make my rivals in management successful. All you have to of is low walk those projects until they die from lack of energy. Wally: Its about time you recognized my value. Ive been pre[aring for this moment all of my life. The Boss: Meet me in my office in ten minutes for you new assignments. You're supposed to be here two hours ago. Wally: Is it too soon to ask for a raise?

Zombie Projects

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Zombie Projects - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, zombie, sloth, fail, salary

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the boss: wally, i'm putting you in charge of all the zombie projects that refuse to die. the boss: i'm counting on your sloth and incompetence to finish them off, so management feels comfortable finally canceling them. the boss: as of today, i'm paying you to fail. wally: actually, this is just the first time you're aware of it.

Knowing What Wally Does

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Knowing What Wally Does - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, performance, review, job, projects, expectations, heuristics

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boss: i can't give you a good performance review because you haven't performed up to expectations. wally: do you even know what my job is? boss: of course i do. you're an engineer. wally: yes, but do you know what projects i'm working on? boss: well, various things, and some miscellaneous things too. wally: how can you determine my job performance when you don't know what my job is? boss: have you heard of heuristics? you're bad at everything i've observed, so i assume you are bad at everything else as well. wally: you should have started with that.

Coffee Productivity

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Coffee Productivity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, business, projects, productive, medical, coffee, lie, medical-grade coffee

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wally in meeting with boss and dilbert: i've been highly productive since switching to medical-grade coffee. i finished all of my projects and did an excellent job on every one. boss: wow! dilbert and wally in hall after: so that stuff actually makes you more productive? wally: no, but it does make me lie better.

Reimagine Ted's Job

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Reimagine Ted's Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boring, business, job, new, pay, projects, reimagine, technology, compensation

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boss: ted, we need to reimagine your job. ted: i hope that means you will replace the boring parts of my job with exciting new projects. boss: it doesn't mean that. boss: does it mean doing the same work for higher pay?

Lazy People Are Efficient

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Lazy People Are Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, efficient, projects, lazy, assignments, useful

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wally: they say the laziest employees are the best because they know how to be efficient. i don't think i get enough credit for all of my efficiency. boss: efficiency only matters if you are doing something useful. wally: you're the one who gives me my assignments. boss: i don't ask you to do anything useful because you are too lazy. wally: are the useful projects generally harder that the useless ones? boss: yes. wally: then i'd say the system is working.

Doing Nothing Is A Decision

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Doing Nothing Is A Decision - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, harsh, hate, lazy, managers & supervisors, progress, projects, sarcasm, technology

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boss with laptop and on video chat: wally, it seems that once again you have made no progress on any of your projects. wally: it looks that way from the outside but what you have to understand is that not doing something is also a decision. boss: i literally hate talking to you. wally: harsh.

Because Of The Pandemic

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Because Of The Pandemic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, covid-19, managers & supervisors, pandemic, technology, projects, behind, schedule, virus, laptop, coffee

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boss: wally, four out of five of your projects are behind schedule. wally: that's because of the pandemic. boss: one of your projects is on schedule. wally: that's because of me.

Wally Not Remotely Working

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Wally Not Remotely Working - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, success, technology, projects, remote work, work, remote, bed, office, laptop, home

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boss and wally on video call. boss: wally, have you been successful on your projects while working at home? wally: not remotely. boss: and by that you mean you went into the office and did not work remotely? wally in bed: okay, sure.