Can't Read Comic Strips - Page 6

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278 Results for Can't Read

View 51 - 60 results for can't read comic strips. Discover the best "Can't Read" comics from Dilbert.com.

Don't Read Long Emails

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Don't Read Long Emails - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #tldr, #communication, #assumption, #honesty

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Man: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I don't read long email messages. Long emails are a sign of a disorganized mind. I try to avoid contact with that sort of person. Man: And yet, here I am. Dilbert: I didn't say it works every time.

Read It With My Own Eyes

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Read It With My Own Eyes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #communication, #email, #frustrated, #office, #office workers, #plans

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Man: I disagree with your email saying the plan won't work. Dilbert: My email said exactly the opposite. I said the plan will definitely work. Man: No, I read it with my own eyes. Dilbert: I'm the one who wrote it!!!

Read The Manual

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Read The Manual - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer software, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology

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Dilbert: We need to fix our user interface because half of our users can't figure it out. Boss: Tell them to read the manual. Dilbert: That's not how you fix a bad user interface. Boss: Then why do manuals exist? Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be banging my head against a wall.

Project Update

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Project Update - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #project, #update, #plan, #read, #imaginary

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boss: did you send me your project update? dilbert: were you planning to read it? boss: no dilbert: then i totally sent it too you boss thinking: half of my job is imaginary

Buying Tee Shirts

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Buying Tee Shirts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clothing, #purchase, #retail, #size, #small, #t-shirt, #home, #shopping

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dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: do you like my new t-shirt? it's two sizes too small, but that's all they had. dogbert: wouldn't it be better to buy shirts that you like that are also the right size? dilbert: in theory, yes. but i have been buying t-shirts for years, and i don't recall seeing that option.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #stress, #meltdown cubicle, #theoretical workload limit, #brains full, #becomes overdue, #projects overdue, #tasks, #urgent, #funny noise, #missed dead line

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Voice: Meltdown in cubicle 459540! Dilbert: That's Te. He must have reached his T.W.L. Asok: His what? Dilbert: Theoretical workload limit. In layman's terms, his brain is full. It starts when just one of your projects becomes overdue. You end up spending all of your time explaining why you didn't get it done. That makes all of your other projects overdue. When ever task become urgent, your brain can't decide what to do next. Brains make a funny noise when they shut down. Noise: Poink. Asok: Uh-oh. I just missed a deadline. Wally: And so it begins.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mobile (cell) phones, #surveillance, #security, #employee locator device, #smarthone, #questions, #text to yourself

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Boss: Security says your employee locator device isn't turned on. Dilbert: My what? Boss: I think you call it your smartphone. Dilbert: I might have some questions. Boss: Put them in a text to yourself. I'll read them later.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #review document, #comments, #research, #postpone, #plan a, #science

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Boss: I'll review your document and give you my comments this afternoon. Dilbert: No you won't. You'll read one paragraph then tell me to go research something so you can postpone dealing with it. Boss: They know about Plan "A."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #apathy, #choosing, #comments, #two alternatives, #recommended option, #more expensive

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Dilbert: Did you read my comments on the two alternatives? Boss: No. Dilbert: I recommended option two because neither plan will work but option one is way more expensive. Boss: I already approved option one. Dilbert: If you need any more help, just let me know.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #interviews, #biggest mistake, #learned from t, #old couch, #chewing, #starbucks, #never tell story

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Interview question. Boss: Describe your biggest mistake and what you learned from it. Man: I tried to get rid of an old couch by chewing it into tiny pieces and leaving one handful at a time at a Starbucks. Boss: And what did you learn? Man: I learned I should never tell that story.