Change Once A Month Comic Strips - Page 6

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View 51 - 60 results for change once a month comic strips. Discover the best "Change Once A Month" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert the consultant, #excellent advice, #50k monthly, #offer bad advice, #45k month

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Banner reading "Dogbert the Consultant" appears across top of page. Dogbert sitting in front of The Boss. Dogbert says, "I cab give you excellent advice for $50,000 per month." Dogbert sitting in chair continues, "If budget is a problem, I also offer bad advice for the low price of $45,000 per month." Dilbert and Alice watch as The Boss runs past their cubicle with scissors in hand. Alice says, "That's not a good sign."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #Wally, #alice, #communication, #management, #office culture

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The Boss tells Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "What we need is more communication between management and . . . Whatever you are." The Boss continues, "So, once a month I'll have 'open door day.'" The Boss explains, "You can drop by and whine about anything you want." The Boss continues, "I'll listen with a concerned expression like this." The Boss continues, "Then I'll explain why everything is fine just the way it is." The Boss continues, "Then, morale will improve, profits will skyrocket and my stock options will make me RICH!! Dilbert says, "May I make some observations about your plan?" Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Forget it." The Boss asks, "Do you notice how concerned I look?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brain overload, #experiences perceived, #garbageman, #illusions, #inability to percieve, #paths, #physics, #possibility, #rat can't conceive, #rats, #time and motion

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Ratbert: What is reality, mister garbage man? Garbage man: are you sure you're ready for that, Ratbert? Ratbert: My mind is a blank slate! Garbageman: Okay...time and motion are just illusions created by your inability to perceive everything at once. Everything that is possible as a path you simply choose the path you wish to perceive. Th only things you can't change are the experiences you've already perceived. Ratbert: My head hurts. Garbageman: The contents of a garbage can are determined by what path I choose to perceive, not by what somebody else chose to discard. Ratbert: Brain overload! Hey theres a new VCR in here! Garbageman: Cmon, Im expecting some great videos in the Obriens can.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #powerless peon, #agent of change, #dynamic work group, #business card, #paper trail

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The boss stands. Dilbert sits. The Boss says, "Don't think of yourself as a powerless peon in a box." The Boss says, "You're an agent of change is a dynamic, natural work group." Dilbert stands in front of his cubicle. Dilbert says, "Can I put that on my business cards?" The Boss says, "I'd rather not leave a paper trail."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #late to meeting, #dept. meeting, #change name, #department name change

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Wally walks into a meeting. Asok, The Boss and Dilbert sit at the conference table. Wally says, "I got caught in traffic." The Boss says, "Let me recap what you missed. We spent the past hour deciding not to change the name of our department." Asok says, "You just inadvertently trained me to be late to all meetings." Wally smiles. The Boss says, "Oops."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no meetings, #change software, #software settings, #boss, #good work

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Dilbert sits in his cubicle. Dilbert thinks, "I don't have any meetings today." Dilbert thinks, "I'll change all my software settings until something soesn't work." The Boss pokes his head into Dilbert's cubicle. The Boss says, "Keep up the good work." Dilbert says, "Keep up the good managing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #broken binder award, #once in a lifetime award, #peers, #dumping trash

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Asok sits at his computer. Dilbert hands him a binder. Dilbert says, "Asok, you're the winner of the prestigious "Broken Binder Award"." Asok smiles. Dilbert says, "It's a once-in-a-lifetime award that is voted on by your peers." Wally and Dilbert stand in front of Asok's cubicle. Inside the cubicle Asok holds the binder and cheers. Wally says, "How long have you been dumping your trash here?" Dilbert says, "Since my can got full."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project plan, #justify resources, #change software, #software changes, #plan

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The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss has a piece of paper in front of him and Dilbert has his laptop. The Boss says, "I'll need a project plan to justify the resources we need to change our software." Dilbert says, "I can make those software shnages in ten seconds." Dilbert types on the laptop. He says, "Done." The Boss says, "Good work. Now all we need is that plan."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee of month, #offered parking space, #wally takes train, #work hard to win, #doesn't need prize, #laughter, #meeting, #program, #business

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Dilbert, Wally, Alice, the Boss and another man sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We've implemented an 'employee of the month award.'" The Boss explains, "The winner gets to park in a special space right behind the area reserved for managers!" Dilbert says, "That's like saying the very best employee isn't as good as the worst manager." The Boss replies, "No, you're just as good but . . . Uh . . . Less important." Wally says, "Personally, I'm feeling all charged up about this program!" Wally continues, "I'm going to work day and night to increase my chances for better parking!!" Everyone except the Boss laughs. Wally says, "But wait! I ride the train to work!" The Boss thinks, "We're off to a rocky start."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cahnges, #corporate culture, #longer hours, #without pay, #management says same, #team, #vapid slogans, #notepads, #useless meetings, #culture change, #fad menu, #rule by fear, #business

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've decided to make some changes to our corporate culture." Wally says, "Let me guess what that means." Wally continues, "We'll work longer hours without extra pay . . ." Wally continues, "Your management style will remain exactly the same because Lord knows there's no need for YOU to change." Dilbert adds, "We'll start calling ourselves a 'team' so it doesn't seem like work!" Alice covers her eyes and says, "I predict there will be vapid slogans printed on notepads, and maybe some useless meetings." Dilbert says, "She's psychic!" Dilbert asks, "Is is just me or is the culture already changing?" Wally shouts, "I feel it! We're changing!" Wally looks at the agenda and asks, "What's next on the fad menu?" The Boss thinks, "I wonder if it's too late to rule by fear."