Change Project Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

913 Results for Change Project

View 51 - 60 results for change project comic strips. Discover the best "Change Project" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, Wally, conquered, earth, coincidence, picture, brassieres, change

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert hold Dogbert signs and are wearing brassieres. Wally says, "You have to admit it - since Dogbert conquered the earth we've had no wars and the economy improved." Dilbert replies, "It could be a coincidence. All he's ordered so far is that we carry his picture and wear brassieres." Wally says, "I think you're afraid of change." Dilbert says, "Oh yeah? Well, I don't think you're a 'D' cup."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, class, career, options, engineer, retire, major, catastrophe, consultants, project, teams, real, crush, marketing, donuts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a classroom of children, "The goal of every engineer is to retire without getting blamed for a major catastrophe." Dilbert continues, "Engineers prefer to work as 'consultants' on project teams. That way there's no real work, blame is spread across the group, and you can crush any idea from marketing!" Dilbert continues, ". . . And sometimes you get free donuts just for showing up!" The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, embrace, change, management fad, alice, Wally, pass, quickly, linger, stench, newsletter

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, ". . . Companies must learn to embrace change." The employees all think, "Uh-oh. It's another management fad." They all think, "Will it pass quickly or will it linger like the stench of a dead woodchuck under the porch?" The Boss says, "I think we should do a 'change' newsletter." The employees think, "Woodchuck."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, hourly, shirt, business, despise, general public, change

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks a salesclerk in a clothing store, "Can you help me?" The woman replies, "No, I'm afraid I can't." The clerk explains, "You see, I get paid the same low hourly wage whether you buy that shirt or not. And after years in this business I've learned to despise the general public." Dilbert waves some money at the woman and says, "Please . . . I have exact change." The clerk replies, "I have no way of knowing if that's true."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, project, man

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to an employee, "Your new project will have no budget and no management support. Expect to spend most of your time giving status reports." The man's head disappears and he thinks, "Oh no! The life force has been drained out of me! I'm becoming a damp rag!!!" Dilbert looks at the floor and says, "That's amazing." The Boss replies, "It's nothing. I did eighteen at once at the employee empowerment brunch."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Wally, ted, business project, business meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table with a man from marketing. The man says, "You engineers have done NOTHING on my project. You just keep saying I haven't given you sufficient requirements!" The man throws his arms up in frustration and says, "I don't know what else you need and you won't tell me what you need!! Is this just your way of avoiding work??!" Wally replies, "I'll bet you regret choosing marketing as a career path." Dilbert adds, "It looks like a lot of work."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sharing meeting, project, pathetic series, poorly planned, random acts, emotional desparation, things are fine, need a hug

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Let's go around the table and give an update on each of our projects." Man: "My project is a pathetic series of poorly planned, near-random acts. My life is a tragedy of emotional desperation." The boss: "It's more or less customary to say things are going fine." Man: "I think I need a hug."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags emphasize positive, french staellite, trending downward, upbeat, war with france, project staus

View Transcript

Transcript

dilberts letter: "Project status: We accidentally destroyed the French satellite and are now at war with France." Elbonian: "Maybe you should be a little more upbeat in your report. Emphasize the positive." letter: "...on a positive note, our headcount expenses are trending downward."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil demons, stupidity, saint dogbert, image, protect and wathc, career change, out demons of stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "Is your job plagued by the evil demons of stupidity?" "Simply affix this image of Saint Dogbert to every document, cubicle or computer you want to protect and watch your career being to change!" "Out Out!! You demons of stupidity!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, good tatse, home to change, shut up wally, casual dress

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I realize that casual dress day isn't easy for you engineers.... The boss; But you've exceeded the bounds of good taste. Ive got to send you home to change. Dilbert: Shut up wally. wally: I heard they were back! I swear!