Changes Will Allow Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Changes Will Allow

View 51 - 60 results for changes will allow comic strips. Discover the best "Changes Will Allow" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2004's comic on:


Tags #make changes, #no credibility, #idiots, #phone call, #boss offcie

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I told Matthew that there was no way we could make those changes." "Ring." The Boss: "Hi, Matthew!... Yes, of course we can make those changes; we're not idiots! Ha ha!!" Dilbert: "He says you have no credibility."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2004's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #call center, #moved call centers, #anyone will notice, #disguised location

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "We've moved our call centers to Elbonia but we don't think anyone will notice." Elbonia: "Hello, how may I help you? My name is Kruphnehdahpheweundikaniswalyniaphorganopop." "I mean...Carl."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2004's comic on:


Tags #profits improving, #have raise, #giving raises, #profits will plummet, #oppression, #communism

View Transcript

Transcript

"Now that our profits are improving, can I have a raise?" "If I start giving people raises, then profits will plummet and we'll be nowhere." "Does your bonus depend on how effectively you oppress me?" "If you don't like it, try communism."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2004's comic on:


Tags #hairball, #stock options, #evil director, #human resources, #bous system, #kindness of management, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: stock options will be replaced with a bonus system. Dilbert: So....now my happiness depends on the kindness of management instead of the gullibility of our investors? Catbert: allow me to respond by hacking a hairball in your direction.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2004's comic on:


Tags #warning lables, #on donuts, #high calorie donuts, #will kill you, #tastes great, #choked to death

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: The government says we have to put warning labels on our forty thousand calorie, shard -filled doughnuts prodcut. Dogbert: How about: warning! this product will kill you but thats okay because it tastes great! Police: It looks like he chocked on some sort of warning label.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #hazardous donuts, #free will, #illuison, #perceived path, #greatest pleasure, #rationalize, #deciosn, #mindless robot

View Transcript

Transcript

"You can't resist the shard-filled ultra-doughnuts even though you know the hazards." "Mmph" "Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure." "Now, rationalize your decision, you mindless pink robot!" "I'm only having one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2004's comic on:


Tags #main prodcut, #coming off patent, #profits will plunge, #shallowm, #paid for there inventions

View Transcript

Transcript

Our main product is coming off patent. "Profits will plunge and so will my bonus. It's not fair." "Call me shallow. But I enjoy getting paid for other people's inventions." "SHALLOW!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2004's comic on:


Tags #submit, #resume, #misguided optimism, #human will see resume, #email parents

View Transcript

Transcript

Click Submit" to post your resume on the jobs web site." "Now sit back and enjoy the misguided optimism that someday a human being will see it." "Be sure to tell your parents that you looked for a job today." "I'll e-mail them."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 1999's comic on:


Tags #stressed alice, #role model, #deadlines, #pride, #no ambition, #glory, #new vp, #student ready, #master appear

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally stands in Alice's cubicle with a coffee cup. Alice works at her computer. Wally says, "There is no reason to be stressed, Alice." Wally says, "Allow me to be your role model." Wally says, "I remain calm despite the pressure of impossible deadlines." ALice says, "That's because you have no pride and no ambition!" ALice says, "I've worked day and night to make this deadline!" ALice says, "And when I suceed, the glory will be mine!" Ted pokes his head around the cubicle wall and says, "Our new VP just canceled the project so the last vp would look bad." Wally says, "They say that when the student is ready, the master will appear."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 1999's comic on:


Tags #few changes, #vinery idea, #unimaginative retread, #idea, #discredited, #energizing force, #chat, #manage someone else

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss brings Dilbert a piece of paper. He tells him, "Good idea, Dilbert ... I made a few changes and sent it out." Dilbert reads the paper and screams, "GAAA!" Dilbert says, "You removed the parts that made it a visionary idea!" As the Boss stares at him blankly, Dilbert continues, "Now it's just an unimaginative retread of an idea that has been widely discredited." Dilbert yells in shock, "GAAA! AND IT HAS MY NAME ON IT!" Dilbert collapses back on his desk, saying, "That idea was the energizing force that gave me strength to work." Dilbert yells, "NOW IT'S DEAD! YOU KILLED IT!" Dilbert lies backwards, his head on his desk, gurgling. The Boss says, "I'd love to chat but I have to manage someone else now."