Chaos Theory Comic Strips - Page 6
70 Results for Chaos Theory
View 51 - 60 results for chaos theory comic strips. Discover the best "Chaos Theory" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 14, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "So, what have you accomplished this year?" Dilbert thinks, "I hate performance reviews." Dilbert replies, "Well, I used my empowerment to create a new paradigm." Dilbert continues, "And I teamed across functional boundaries to improve quality." Dilbert continues, "I dare say I was customer-focused and market-driven!" Dilbert holds his arms out and says, "I proactively found excellence in the midst of chaos!" Dilbert continues, "I re-engineered my core processes and embraced change!" Dilbert stands up and bows. He says, "I give you - Dilbert - the perfect employee!" The Boss asks, "Was that sarcasm?" Dilbert replies, "To be honest, I don't know either."
Share December 15, 1996's comic on:
The Boss tells Dilbert, "I made an upgrade to your product design." He hands Dilbert a document. Dilbert says, "This would make the product overheat." The Boss says, "Let's try to look at the big picture." Dilbert reads the document and says, "Okay . . . Let's see . . . Your upgrade has no benefits and it costs more." Dilbert continues, "The overheating would start office fires and put all of our customers out of business." Dilbert continues, "If our sales are strong, we could create economic chaos and a global firestorm." Dilbert concludes, "Your 'upgrade' would destroy civilization as we know it." The Boss says, "Keep me informed." Back at home, Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dogbert asks, "So you're going to end civilization as we know it?" Dilbert replies, "I don't think I'll miss it, frankly."
Share March 11, 1999's comic on:
The boss says, to Alice "My atrologer told me to approve your project plan as is." Alice says, "What?! That's the right decision. What's going on here?" Alice says, to Dilbert over the cubicle wall, "My theory is that his ignorance clouded his poor judgement."
Share August 21, 1999's comic on:
Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert types, "In order to eliminate all traces of individuality..." Dilbert reads, "All computer wallpaper must be the same." Dilbert thinks, "What next?" Catbert thinks, "In theory, with helium, the employees would all sound alike."
Share November 26, 1999's comic on:
The Turnaround CEO The devilish looking CEO asks Dilbert, "Tell me, mole, who can I fire without affecting revenue?" Dilbert replies, "In theory, you could outsource everything and run the company with one smart employee." Dilbert continues, "And at the risk of sounding rude, only one of us knew that."
Share December 18, 1999's comic on:
Alice is at her computer and the boss says: "Alice, I've been asked to counsel you about your abuse of co-workers." The boss says: "The theory is that I can alter your personality by talking to you." Alice grinds her teeth and shakes her fists in the air while the boss says: "If you feel a tingle, that's probably your DNA changing."
Share March 19, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert is walking with a woman. He says, "My theory is that consciousness is the ability to predict and then observe the results of actions." Dilbert continues, "So I think you could build a computer that would be fully conscious." The woman falls asleep. Dilbert carries the woman over his shoulder. He continues, "Obviously you'd need an array of sensors to collect the data."
Share November 08, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting on the couch at home. Dogbert says, "I've developed a new theory of intelligence that I call 'Drop-by-I.Q.'" Dogbert continues, "It's a measure of how long a drop-by visitor will stay in your cubicle when you're trying to work." The Boss is standing in Alice's cubicle. He says, ..."And that's why I'm afraid of bananas." Alice looks at her clock and thinks, "One hour and counting."
Share November 11, 2004's comic on:
"My company is selling gigantic, shard-filled doughnuts with forty thousand calories apiece." "It's based on Dogbert's theory that people are pleasure-seeking morons." "How does it taste?" "Delicious! I have one for you strapped to my car"
Share February 02, 2006's comic on:
I was wondering if you could stop by this weekend and show me how to install my wireless network. "Under what theory are the competent obliged to help the incompetent?" "Wow. This is awkward." "Watch what happens when I just stare at you."