Colorful Paper Clips Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

353 Results for Colorful Paper Clips

View 51 - 60 results for colorful paper clips comic strips. Discover the best "Colorful Paper Clips" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2000's comic on:


Tags #sing or dance, #resigned, #huge resignation, #manifesto, #video clips, #humorous sound files, #website, #broadway theater prodcution, #first motivated employee, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted approaches Dilbert, "Can you sing or dance?" Dilbert turns to face Ted, "Ted? I thought you resigned in disgust two weeks ago." Ted replies, "Well...I wrote a huge resignation manifesto that I planned to e-mail to the entire company." With hands raised Ted says, "But I thought it needed pictures." With arms now raised to the side Ted says, "Before long I was adding video clips and humorous sound files." Exasperated Ted states, "Then I thought, hey, why not put it all on a website?" More calmed and reserved, Ted says "Now I'm turning the whole thing into an off Broadway theatre production." Arriving home after work, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I saw my first motivated employee today."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2012's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #positive feedback, #negative feedback, #motivates, #givernment, #rectangular, #paper

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How do you feel when I give you positive feedback? Alice: Underpaid. Boss: How do you feel when I give you negative feedback? Alice: Underappreciated. Boss: Then what motivates you? Alice: The government makes rectangular pieces of paper.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2012's comic on:


Tags #capitalism, #electronic mail, #colorful opions, #email, #advertising plan, #discoverable record, #describing advertising, #pinocchio doing backstroke

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Please stop using email to express your colorful opinions of our marketing campaign. We don't need a discoverable record of you describing our advertising plan as "Pinocchio doing the backstroke in Satan's septic tank." Remember that capitalism without deniability is the same as poverty. Dilbert: Eh?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2012's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #employee survey, #respect and dignity, #feel gross, #disgust, #paper towel

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: The first question on the employee survey is... Do you feel you are valued and treated with respect and dignity? Dilbert: Well, let me put it this way... you know how sometimes you step in something gross and then you have to wipe it off your shoe with a paper towel? Catbert: So... you feel like the paper towel? Dilbert: No, the paper towel has a purpose. Catbert: So... you feel like the gross stuff on the shoe? Dilbert: No, the gross stuff gets to leave. I feel like a shoe that has gross stuff on the bottom and a sweaty foot shoved all the way to the end of its sole. Catbert: I'll leave this one blank. Dilbert: Because my opinions don't matter?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2010's comic on:


Tags #copy machine, #paper jam, #poltergeist, #scary, #horror, #upside down, #legs sticking up, #high heels, #kick legs, #yell, #afterworld, #arms, #flail, #hold out arm

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "I can almost reach the paper jam, but a poltergeist is trying to drag me to the afterworld." Tina says, "Maybe I can blind him with the toner cartridge. Ha ha! Take that! And that!" Tina says, "Gaaa!!! I can't feel my arms!" Dilbert says, "I only have one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #Environment, #cups, #paper, #hot, #ridiculous, #animal, #shocked, #crazy

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Our company had replaced styrofoam cups with paper cups to save the planet." The boss says, "They work just as well if you use a dead squirrel as an oven mitten." The boss says, "This one still has some fight left in him."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2008's comic on:


Tags #80thousand, #forboding, #funny story, #paper, #print long document, #printer paper

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Ted, I have a funny story for you!" Ted says,"Why am I filled with a sense of foreboding?" The Boss says, "So I was trying to print a long document, hee-hee!" The Boss says, "But when I went to the printer, the document wasn't there!" The Boss says, "For the next three days I kept trying and trying, but the document never showed up at the printer!" The Boss says, "It turns out I was checking the wrong printer. The right printer used $80,000 worth of paper that week." Ted says, "And how does this affect me?" The Boss says, "You and paper just became an either-or situation."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2007's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #useful parts, #open to suggestions, #unqualified, #their own jobs, #software, #recycled paper, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "This concludes the useful part of my presentation." "Now let's open the floor to suggestions from people who are unqualified to do their own jobs, much less mine." "Yes, you with the forehead." Man: "Can you make the software out of recycled paper?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2006's comic on:


Tags #hard drive, #too much smut, #film clips, #poor lighting, #move to external, #server, #disabled firewall

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, my laptop is slowing down. Can you take a look at it?" "Here's the problem. There's too much smut on your hard drive." "I recommend deleting the film clips that have poor lighting." "And here's a whole category that you haven't looked at in weeks." "I'll move those to an external drive in case you need 'em later." "Wally has all this stuff on the server. You don't need it on your laptop." "What the...? You pinhead! You disabled your firewall!" "If you work here long enough, your outrage ends up in all of the wrong places." "Who moved my stapler?!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #document, #free paper, #quality of paper, #lousy regular, #silkier, #accept the things can't change

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says into his telephone headset, "This is Dogbert's Tech Support. How may I abuse you?" The man on the other end of the line replies, "My printer prints a blank page after every document." Dogbert says, "Why would you complain about getting free paper?" The man responds, "Free? Isn't it just giving me my own paper?" Dogbert replies, "Egad, man! Look at the quality of the free paper compared to your lousy regular paper!" Dogbert continues, "Only a fool or a liar would say they look the same!" The man responds, "Now that you mention it, it does seem silkier." Dilbert approaches Dogbert and asks, "What are you doing?" Dogbert replies, "I'm helping people accept the things they can't change."