Computer Software Comic Strips - Page 6
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870 Results for Computer Software
View 51 - 60 results for computer software comic strips. Discover the best "Computer Software" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday October 15,
2000
Tags old computer, give to school, hard drive, tax accounting, night mare, school playground, old refrigerator, better idea
Transcript
Dilbert is standing in the boss's office. Dilbert says, "How do I get rid of my old computer?" The boss says, "Why don't you give it to a school?" Dilbert says, "Well, it would take me a week to find someone to take it." Dilbert continues, "The hard drive is broken and it has no software." Dilbert says, "And it would cause a tax accounting nightmare." The boss says, "Maybe you could leave it on the school playground at night." The boss continues, "That's what I did with my old refrigerator." Dilbert is standing by the playground swings, putting his computer on top of a refrigerator. Dilbert, standing by Dogbert, says, "What I hate most is that I didn't have a better idea."
Saturday July 05,
2014
Tags inventions, artificial intelligence, software, phb test, hide, html5, talking, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: My artificial intelligence software passes the PHB test. That means I can hide it behind a curtain and people won't know if they're talking to a computer or a pointy-haired boss. Computer, what is HTML5? Computer: Beats me. Boss: I was going to say that!
Friday February 27,
2015
Selling Bad Software Is Like Crime
Tags big business, business, criminals, user interface, software, lower tax rate, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: Our tests show that people can't figure out how to use our software. And yet we still sell it. How are we different from criminals? Boss: Our tax rate is lower.
Wednesday August 19,
2015
Software Killed Ted
Tags invention, software, free will, behavior, murder, anger, glitch, malfunction, control, self control, psychology, engineering
Transcript
Boss: I have a report that you killed Ted in a cafeteria brawl. Dilbert: Not exactly. My brain stimulator had a software glitch, and it made me homicidal for a minute. Boss: So... you're a murderer, right? Dilbert: Software killed Ted. I was only the weapon.
Monday May 22,
2017
Randy Has A Microchip In His Brain
Tags intelligence, technology, nanotechnology, biotechnology, computer chip
Transcript
Boss: Randy is our first employee to have a computer chip embedded in his brain. Randy, please explain to these obsolete employees how awesome you are now. Randy: Wait... I'm updating my software. Alice: Should we kill him while he's vulnerable?
Thursday November 21,
2019
Software Specs
Tags managers & supervisors, software, specifications, business, problem, unclear
Transcript
boss: how long will it take to write the software? dilbert: that depends. what do you want the software to do? boss: i don't know yet. dilbert: do you see the problem here? boss: is it you?
Sunday December 08,
2019
Software Already Done
Tags managers & supervisors, prototype, resources, software, program, miscommunication, frustration
Transcript
dilbert: what do you think? boss: this will never work. dilbert: this isn't a prototype. this is the finished software, and it's working. boss: i don't see how you can get this done in time. dilbert: it's already done. you are literally using it while we are talking. boss: we don't have the resources to program this. dilbert yelling: it's already done! you. are. using. it. right. now! boss: you'd better settle down, or you'll never get this finished.
Saturday July 03,
2021
New Software
Tags business, managers & supervisors, approval, software, necessary, purchase order, questions, blockchain, stop
Transcript
dilbert: i'd like approval to buy some software, and there is no hope you would understand why it is necessary. so just sign off on the purchase and don't ask any questions. boss: is it blockchain? dilbert: just stop.
Thursday February 03,
2011
Tags budget for a poor job, build software, business ethics, cheap or smart, executives, poor job, return on investment, selling upogardes
Transcript
Dilbert says, "If we build our software with no bugs, we can make a 10% return on our investment." Dilbert says, "But if we do a poor job, we can make a 40% return by selling upgrades and service." Dilbert says, "But don't worry. We only have the budget for a poor job." CEO says, "I can't remember if we're cheap or smart." Boss says, "Phew!"
Wednesday February 23,
2011
Tags contracts, lawyers, surgery, software server, too confusing, normal human, comprehension, cost eefective, involve atorneys, deal so small, medical
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Your software services contract is too confusing for any normal human to comprehend." Dilbert says, "And it wouldn't be cost- effective to involve our attorneys for a deal so small." Dilbert says, "So I'll just take chance and sign it." Man says, "Doc... scrub in. I got the liver."

