Consulting Company Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

887 Results for Consulting Company

View 51 - 60 results for consulting company comic strips. Discover the best "Consulting Company" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #training, #company, #overpriced, #inferior, #products, #quotas, #illegally

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table with training materials in front of him. The speaker says, "Welcome to sales training." The man continues, "As you know, our company makes over-priced, inferior products. We try to compensate by setting high sales quotas." The instructor continues, "We don't ASK you to act illegally, but it's pretty much the only way to reach quota. Okay, that's it for training. Any questions?"

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #competitor, #massage, #helga, #company, #offer, #house

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from a customer's desk wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. The customer says, "Your competitor was here an hour ago . . ." The man points to a woman holding a towel and massage oil and says, "He promised me a massage from Helga if I buy from his company. What's your offer?" Dilbert replies, "I'll give you my house for Helga." The man says, "You're new at this . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #consultant, #creativity, #company, #supressed, #association, #chair, #donut

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands in front of the Boss and several employees. Dogbert points at a diagram of a man's head being crushed by a vice grip. Dogbert says, "As your consultant I will unleash the creativity that the company has supressed." Dogbert continues, "We'll begin with word association. I'll say a word then you each say what pops into your head. Chair." The Boss says, "Donut?" A man next to the Boss says, "I say donut too." A woman says, "I was going to say donut." Another employee says, "Donut."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #creativity, #consultant, #exercise, #research, #support, #method, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk and says to a man, "This exercise is especially for the MBAs in the company." The man asks, "What's the payback?" Dogbert hits the man on the head with a bat several times. Dogbert says, "There's no research to support this method, but you gotta admit it feels right."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #creativity, #consultant, #final, #report, #company, #doomed

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert hands the Boss a report and says, "Here's my final report on your company." Dogbert continues, "I've concluded that you're doomed. You waste too much money on consultants." The Boss replies, "You're a consultant." Dogbert asks, "Ironic, isn't it?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company, #headquarters, #plan, #employees, #offer, #deceptively, #retire, #Wally, #alice, #calculate, #cosine

View Transcript

Transcript

At company headquarters, someone asks, "Does anybody have a plan for getting rid of the employees?" Another person answers, "Well, they're bad at math; we could offer deceptively small sums of money to people who retire." Dilbert, Wally and Alice read copies of a document. Dilbert says, "Hey, this could be good." Wally says, "It's been a long time since I had to calculate the cosine of anything."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #alice, #worklife balance, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I'm working too many hours . . . I never spend time with my family." The Boss holds up a brochure and replies, "The company cares. That's why we've developed a program to teach you how to cope." Alice reads the pamphlet, "Celibacy and adoption - the choice for the nineties."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad schdeuling, #careless, #company cares, #last tuesday, #long hours, #missed out, #stress on workers, #stress redcution expert, #stressful, #talk at lunch, #too late

View Transcript

Transcript

"The company cares deeply about the effects of long hours and stress on workers." "So they're paying nearly $200 to have an expert on stress-reduction give a talk during lunch." "Just when you think they don't care, something like this comes along." "It's scheduled for lst Tuesday."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #commercial, #show company cars, #avoid pedestrians, #message, #we care, #sell bloopers, #dick clark

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert's Ad Agency" "The commercial will show company cars braking hard to avoid pedestrians." "The message is, 'we care about people we don't even know!'" "Was it dangerous to film this?" "We'll sell the bloopers to Dick Clark." "Thud"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #right sizing, #company, #bright sizing, #laughter, #bananas at lunch, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally and a man sit at a table eating lunch. The man says, "Instead of 'right-sizing' our company is 'bright-sizing.' That's when all the bright people leave!" They all laugh. They stop laughing and Dilbert says, "Hey! We all brought bananas."