Control Window Comic Strips - Page 6
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263 Results for Control Window
View 51 - 60 results for control window comic strips. Discover the best "Control Window" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday October 06,
2001
Tags #six sigma consulatant, #identify probelms, #control fist, #give me a belt, #second step
Transcript
Headline: Six Sigma Consultant. Dogbert says to the meeting, "The first step is to identify your problems." The Boss responds, "We don't have any problems. What's the second step?" Alice pins one hand down with the other and clenches her teeth. She thinks to herself, "Must..control...fist." The Boss says, "I hope someone gives me a belt."
Monday July 08,
2002
Tags #african vacation, #natures wonders, #shoot, #window of suv, #monkey brains, #flared nostrils
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "I'll be taking my vacation in Africa so I can enjoy nature's wonders." The Boss continues, "And shoot as much of it as possible from the window of an SUV." The Boss asks Wally, "Have you ever seen monkey brains?" Wally responds, "Once, when you flared your nostrils."
Friday November 29,
2002
Tags #stretch first, #sprained arm, #tv remote control, #Wally, #doctor, #medical
Transcript
Wally has his arm in a sling and his head in a cone. He says to Dilbert, "I sprained my arm using the TV remote control." Wally continues, "I tried to change the channel and the volume at the same time." Wally continues, "That's why you should always stretch first." Dilbert turns and asks, "Wally, who's your doctor?"
Wednesday March 12,
2003
Tags #cell phone not working, #short range, #same room, #tv remote control
Transcript
The Boss stops Wally and Dilbert in the hallway and asks, "Why isn't my cell phone working?" Dilbert responds, "That's a short-range cell phone. You need to be in the same room with the person you call." The Boss, Asok, and Alice are sitting. The Boss has his phone up to his ear. He thinks, "Answer the stinkin' phone, Alice." Asok asks, "Why are listening to a TV remote control?"
Monday April 19,
2004
Tags #real estate, #sell house, #agent, #doesn't know maybe, #moving fast, #control process, #escrow closes
Transcript
Dilbert: "Maybe I should sell this house and get a newer one." Dogbert: "I'll be the real estate agent." Dilbert: "I said maybe." Dogbert: "A good real estate agent doesn't know the meaning of that word." Dilbert: "Things are moving too fast. I've lost control of the process." Dogbert: "Pack your stuff, waffler. Escrow closes in ten days."
Saturday August 20,
2005
Tags #window facing cubicle, #available, #printer papaer, #free trip, #vendor, #sunlight, #bleach, #visible wood
Transcript
A prestigious window-facing cubicle has just become available. "It'll be a perfect place to store all the printer paper I bought so I could win a free trip from the paper vendor." "And maybe the sunlight wll bleach out the visible wood chips."
Monday November 21,
2005
Tags #hired abusive, #lying, #control freak, #difficult coworkers
Transcript
"I hired an abusive, lying, back-stabbing, control freak." "But don't worry, because I'm sending you to a class on how to deal with difficult coworkers." "Wouldn't it have been better to..." "I've heard bad things about that guy."
Saturday February 23,
2013
Tags #inventions, #nuclear rocket, #engineers, #blast astroid, #collsion, #approved corporate font, #launch window, #moon
Transcript
Boss: Our engineers built a nuclear rocket to blast an incoming asteroid out of its collision course with Earth. But we didn't use the approved corporate font on the nose cone and we missed the launch window trying to erase it. Now what are we going to do with a nuclear rocket? CEO: Well, the moon has always been a jerk.
Sunday April 14,
2013
Tags #inventions, #win battle, #developing better tv sets, #digital couch, #butt warmer, #bottle opener, #back scratcher, #control lights, #temperature, #buttocks like a mouse
Transcript
Wally: The biggest tech companies want to win the battle for your living room. But they are unwisely focusing on developing better TV sets. Today I give you me design for a fully digital couch. It has all of the features you would expect, including a butt warmer, surround sound, bottle opener and back scratcher. But you can also control the lights, curtains, temperature and TV by using your buttocks like a mouse on the seat cushion. This is a loft click and... this is a right. The prototype arrives tomorrow, and I'll be testing it for the next six months. Maybe I'll sell my house.
Saturday May 10,
2008
Tags #antique thing, #defective prodcuts, #free up funds, #larger volume, #longer test, #sales force, #quality control budget
Transcript
The Boss says, "I cut the quality control budget to free up funds to increase our sales force." Dilbert says, "So your strategy is to sell a larger volume of defective products?" The Boss says, "The quality will be fine. The tests will just take longer." Dilbert says, "So...It's an antique thing?"