Corporate Job Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Corporate Job

View 51 - 60 results for corporate job comic strips. Discover the best "Corporate Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #policy, #job performance, #career

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Our newest fad policy is to have subordinates appraise their boss's job performance." Dilbert says, "I give you a 'D minus.'" The Boss asks, "Did I mention retribution?" Dilbert says, "Careful, sir, you're hanging by a thread."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 1993's comic on:


Tags #rags, #Dogbert, #corporate, #clients

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to a group of rags, "I'll be representing you corporate employees in a class action suit. Your company has sucked the life force out of you and turned you into little rags." Dogbert continues, "My fee will be on a contingency basis. That means I get the entire settlement plus I'll use you to wax my BMW." One rag replies, "Sounds fair." Another thinks, "Don't make waves." Dogbert thinks, "I've found the perfect clients."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #job security

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dogbert, who is wearing a sorcerer's hat, "I want you to read my boss's mind and tell me what he wants my group to work on." Dogbert asks, "Why don't you just ask him?" The Boss replies, "Ask him?? I can't do that. His calendar is booked for months. And I never understand what he says anyway." Dogbert says, "He thinks you're an idiot, but it's easier to pay you than to fire you." The Boss whistles and says, "Whew! Job security."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 1993's comic on:


Tags #ted, #Dilbert, #job offer, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. A man asks, "Have I told you recently that I have a lucrative job offer from our competitor?" Dilbert replies, "Yes." The man continues, "The pay is obscene, they wear casual clothes at work, and Wednesday through Friday is free beer and pizza." The man continues, "As the new guy I get to date the masseuse until the company matches me with an attractive co-worker." Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #office, #job offer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "One of my co-workers got a much better job at another company. I'm feeling quite envious." Dogbert says, "Instead of feeling sad, you should make a list of all the things you have that he doesn't." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table writing a list. Dogbert says, "So far, you have a birthmark, a fear of spiders and the list itself." Dilbert says, "I had the birthmark removed."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #job, #application, #Promotion

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk and shouts, "I'm a loud dog! Give me a job! You must obey me because I'm loud!" The Boss says, "Okay okay." Dogbert says, "That was too easy. There must be something wrong with the job. It must be an entry level job . . ." Dogbert stands on the desk and kicks something at the Boss. Dogbert shouts, "I want a raise!! Promote me, you imbecile!!" The Boss thinks, "Bad trend."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #retirement, #quit job, #philanthropy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the hassock. Ratbert asks, "Why did you quit your job as company president?" Dogbert replies, "I made a fortune on my stock options and retirement payout." Dogbert says, "I'm going to turn my attention to philanthropy." Ratbert asks, "Is that the study of people named Phil?" Dogbert replies, "It's mostly about watching people beg and having buildings named after me."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 1994's comic on:


Tags #no raises, #promotions, #job titles, #named beverly

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We're flattening the organization to eliminate levels and put everybody in a wide salary band. Now instead of not getting a promotion. you'll only not get a raise, wally: So what job title do we use? The Boss: You'll all be named Beverly.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bad timing, #corporate offcie, #declared war, #french embassy, #satellite program, #slingshot

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The corporate office sent me to head up the Elbonian satellite launching program. Elbanian: ooh...bad timing. The french delivered their satellite early. we already tried to launch it with the town slingshot. Dilbert: It doesn't get much worse than this. Elbonain: It flattened the french embassy. They declared war an hour ago.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 1994's comic on:


Tags #organ donor, #reorganizations, #unwanted employees, #what job

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Sometimes I think these constant reorganizations are just excuses for getting rid of unwanted employees. Wally: what job did you end up with? Dilbert: Organ donor Wally: My shoulder is acting up. Do I talk to you or is there a form to fill out? Dilbert: I don't think thats an "Organ"