Credit Comic Strips - Page 6
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Character
62 Results for Credit
View 51 - 60 results for credit comic strips. Discover the best "Credit" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday December 30,
2016
Boss Doesn't See Email
Tags space, astronaut, engineering, laziness, bureaucracy, accident
Transcript
Boss: The crew of our first spaceship suffocated on the launchpad. Apparently, I got an email last week asking for approval to repair the oxygen generator. Carol: You killed them with your incompetence? Boss: I can't take all the credit. It was a team effort.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday January 07,
2017
Boss Thought Of It First
Friday May 19,
2017
Asok Should Not Brag
Thursday February 08,
2018
Someone Stole Phb's Idea
Tuesday July 23,
2019
The New Consultant
Tuesday March 31,
2020
The Secret To Managing
Tags managers & supervisors, business, manager, hire, people, smart, steal, success, rumor, job
Transcript
boss to catbert: the secret to being a great manager is hiring people who are smarter than you are. then you have to take credit for their successes so they don't take your job. i also find it helpful to start rumors that they steal.
Sunday January 24,
2021
Bad Qualities Cancel Out
Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, qualities, character, cancel, micro-manage, lazy, backstabbing, brave, lie, credibility, believe, employees, success, manager, random, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: all of my bad qualities see to be canceling each other out. for example, i want to micro-manage my staff, bi=ut i'm too lazy. and i want to do some corporate backstabbing, but i'm not that brave. i enjoy lying, and i'd like to do more of it, but my credibility is so low that no one believes me. i want to mock my employees for their mistakes, but i don't understand enough about what they do to know when they are doing it wrong. i want to take credit for the successes of my employees, but i don't give them enough support to succeed. carol: our set just called. he says he is naming you the manager of the year. boss: he must be deeply uninformed. carol: yes, but he's also lazy, so he pocked you randomly.
Sunday January 31,
2021
Lazy People Are Efficient
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, efficient, projects, lazy, assignments, useful
Transcript
wally: they say the laziest employees are the best because they know how to be efficient. i don't think i get enough credit for all of my efficiency. boss: efficiency only matters if you are doing something useful. wally: you're the one who gives me my assignments. boss: i don't ask you to do anything useful because you are too lazy. wally: are the useful projects generally harder that the useless ones? boss: yes. wally: then i'd say the system is working.
Sunday February 14,
2021
Industry Trends
Tags business, technology, industry, trend, luck, act, fast, change, increase, profits, advantage, future, bogus, training, program, company
Transcript
in board room. boss: industry trends just turned our way by total luck. we have to act fast! i need to implement some kind of change so it looks as if i caused the increase in profits that will happen anyway. does anyone have any ideas? dilbert: no, because we're already perfectly situated to take advantage of the trend. boss upset: that doesn't help me! i can't take credit for our future profits unless i do something i can say made a difference. dilbert: maybe you could implement some sort of bogus company culture training program. one week later. dogbert presenting on a stage: it's important to realize you're all idiots.


