Crime Comic Strips - Page 6
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76 Results for Crime
View 51 - 60 results for crime comic strips. Discover the best "Crime" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday May 28,
1989
Tags crimes, knowledge, money, power, reading, convince
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Why do you waste your time reading books?" Dilbert replies, "Because reading increases my knowledge, and knowledge is POWER." Dogbert says, "But power corrupts . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . And corruption is a crime . . ." Dogbert continues, "And crime doesn't pay . . ." Dogbert's ears fly up and he says, "If you keep reading, you'll go broke!!!" Dilbert stands up and puts the book on the chair. He says, "Gosh! It always seemed so . . . So . . . Harmless." Dogbert says, "Oh yeah, the librarians would LOVE to have you believe that!"
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday December 04,
2004
Tags biggest customer, key to learning, fire, trust anyone
Transcript
The Boss: "Wally, did you tell our biggest customer that everyone here except you is an escaped felon?" Wally: "Maybe." The Boss: "Now I can't fire you because they don't trust anyone else." wally: "The key learning here is that alleged crime doesn't pay." the boss; "I've never been caught!"
Tuesday December 14,
2004
Tags stock guy, conflicts of interest, knocked out, fist down throat, violence, crime
Transcript
Alice: I didn't like the way he was looking at me. The Boss: "This isn't good." "He was the only stock analyst who had a "buy" recommendation on our company." Alice: "I think we're a "hold" now." The Boss: "Where will we find another one with so much conflict of interest??!"
Tuesday May 02,
2006
Wednesday August 30,
2006
Monday May 03,
2010
Tags tech support, sit down, talk, stool, computer, headset, technical problems, trick, hurt, pessimism, angry, technology
Transcript
Dilbert says, "It's not right to use your tech support job to trick people into hurting themselves." Dogbert says, "I help people take their minds off of hopeless technical problems." Dilbert says, "How do you know a problem is hopeless?" Dogbert says, "Great. So now pessimism is a crime?"
Saturday October 30,
2010
Tags employee, human resources, Promotion, raise, facebook; social networks, excited, business
Transcript
Catbert says, "For the past six months you've done nothing but update your Facebook page." Catbert says, "Now we have an opening for a marketing manager for social networks and you're totally qualified. It's a huge raise and promotion." Man says, "Crime pays! I knew it!!!" Catbert says, "We're hoping you can lie as well as you steal."
Friday September 18,
2009
Tags ceo, conference, meeting, greed, corruption, illegal, business
Transcript
CEO summit Dogbert says, "Obviously it's illegal for companies to rig bids." Dogbert says, "But interestingly, the crime is nearly impossible to prove when nothing is written down." Dogbert says, "I'd like you to meet Eddie. Pay close attention to how many times he stomps his hoof."
Sunday December 04,
2005
Tags career criminal, appkying, job, tendonitis, pistol whipping arm, slower paced, lifel, embezzle, job security, business
Transcript
Your resume says you're a career criminal. "Yup." "Um...why are you applying for a job here?" "I'm getting tendonitis in my pistol-whipping arm." "I thought I'd try the slower paced life of white collar crime." "Security." "How much can I expect to embezzle in my first year?" "Earl?" "Lefty!" "Forget this job. Security is where the big money is." "Can you get me in?" "I should start locking my desk."
Tuesday May 20,
2014
Tags crime victims, embarrassment, lost money, phishing scam, questioning support, stifle laugh
Transcript
Boss; I lost all of my money to a phishing scam. Catbert: Must... stifle... laugh. Mmmph! Pressure is building. Must contain... \\ Boss: Are you being supportive? I can't tell. Catbert: Mmmph!


