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Bob the dinosaur holds a typewriter and says, "Computers aren't for everyone. I love my trusty manual typewriter." Bob sit and types a letter. Bob thinks, "Ooops." Bob thinks, "I hope I can correct that before all my friends evlove into birds."
The Boss leaves his office and thinks, "As a leader, I must listen to my customers." The Boss says to Dilbert at his computer, "What are you hearing from our customers?" Dilbert says, "Not a peep." The Boss returns to his office and thinks, "Our customers are defective."
Wally, Asok and Dilbert are having lunch. Wally says, "My long term plan is to drift into a job where I have no impact on anything." Asok looks faint, slouched back in his chair. A doctor holds a plunger and says, "He was too uninspired to finish swallowing."
The boss, Dilbert, Alice and Wally are in a meeting. The boss is looking at a piece of paper and says to the group, "A hacker broke into our system and found out our corporate strategy." Dilbert asks, "Did he post it on the internet? I'd like to read it." Dilbert continues, "I'm also curious about my objectives for the year. Do you have the guy's e-mail address?"
Ted sits at the conference table next to Dilbert. He says, "We're discontinuing technical support of all our products." Ted continues, "A recorded message will explain it to the called this way..." Ted says, "'In order to serve our customers better, we've discontinued technical support.'" Dilbert looks at Ted and asks, "How does that serve customers better?" Ted answers, "We'll redirect those resources to other areas." Dilbert asks, "What other areas?" Ted replies, "Profits." Ted continues, "That makes your bonus larger. Any other questions?" Dilbert says, "Apparently I'm engulfed in evil." Ted says, "That's the spirit."
The Boss and Asok the Intern are sitting at a table. The Boss informs Asok: "The new policy says you must drive carefully while using cell phones." Asok says: "This policy is just in time. I had planned to drive into a tree." Asok leans toward the Boss and asks: "Is there anything there about handling poisonous snakes?"
Dilbert, Alice and Wally are sitting together eating lunch. Dilbert asks them, "Did I ever tell you about the time I went skydiving?" Alice replies, "That sounds like a false memory planted by Dogbert." Dilbert throws one hand in the air in denial as he says "Blah!" Dilbert says, "My parachute didn't open. Luckily, I landed on a trampoline and bounced back into the plane."
Catbert, now acting as the Evil H.R. director, aks Dilbert "Would you work harder if we offerec stock incentives." Dilbert responds, "Yes." Catbert asks, "So you admit you're not working hard enough now?" Dilbert replies unsure "Umm..." Catbert goes on to ask Dilbert, "Lastly, are you still beating up customers?"
Dilbert thinks to himself while sitting at his desk, "Today I will know the joy of uninterrupted productivity." Wally approaches Dilbert with a cup of coffee in hand and says, "We're forming a posse to find out who leaves crumbs in the sink." Dilbert replies, "I assume it's you." Wally answers, "We need more black sheep around here."
The Boss sits at the head of the conference table. He says, "It's not enough to 'serve' our customers..." The Boss continues, "We must DELIGHT them!" Alice asks, "You mean we have to stop price-gouging?" The Boss replies, "No, I think we can still do that." Wally raises his hand and says, "Ooh! Ooh!I know!" Wally continues, "We could stop selling products with known defects." The Boss shouts, "I'm talking about products, not customers!!" Wally turns to Dilbert and Alice and asks, "Do you feel like delighting customers?" Dilbert replies, "I barely have the empathy to pity them."