D Uhh Comic Strips - Page 6
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65 Results for D Uhh
View 51 - 60 results for d-uhh comic strips. Discover the best "D Uhh" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday September 04,
2014
Tags #apathy, #complaining, #dump, #speak mind, #coffe mug, #demand id, #Opinion, #victory lap
Transcript
Exit Interview Employee: Heh-heh. I am going to speak my mind and dump on everyone. Boss: Give me our I.D. and get out. If anyone wanted your opinion I would have paid you enough to stay. Employee: So much for my victory lap. Boss: You forgot your mug!
Friday December 26,
2014
3 D Immersive Goggles
Tags #death, #distraction, #mortality, #technology, #virtual reality, #3d goggles, #testing, #good experince, #forget to eat, #medical
Transcript
Dilbert: Hey, Ted, how do you like our new 3-D immersive goggles you've been testing for two weeks? Some people say the experience is so good that you forget to eat. You're dead, aren't you...
Saturday December 27,
2014
Blist Point For 3 D Goggles
Tags #customer retention, #death, #immersive technology, #moratlity, #technology, #virtual reality, #immersive 3d head gear, #starved, #bliss point, #medical
Transcript
Dilbert: We found the "bliss point" for immersive 3-D headgear. The product is so good that 87% of our customers starved to death while using it. CEO: We never get the customer retention part right.
Thursday May 21,
2015
Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner
Tags #replication, #technology, #clone, #playing god, #doppelganger
Transcript
Dilbert: My invention can scan the human brain and duplicate it in software. I combined that technology with a 3-D printer that makes human body parts. Boss: What does it all do? Replicant: He's getting to the good part.
Friday May 22,
2015
Bossbert
Tags #intelligence, #artificial intelligence, #robot, #replicant
Transcript
Dilbert: I used a 3-D printer and a scan of your brain to create Bossbot. It doesn't pass the Turing test, but neither do you. Bossbot: What's the Turing test? Dilbert: Doesn't really matter. Boss: Yeah, what's the Turing test?
Saturday May 23,
2015
Alice Disposes Of Excess Robot Inventory
Tags #destruction, #anger, #therapy, #catharsis, #robot, #psychology
Transcript
Boss: I want you to get rid of that 3-D printed robot that looks and acts like me. Dilbert: No problem. Alice takes care of all the excess robot inventory. Alice: I don't always have passion for my work, but today is looking good.
Wednesday October 07,
2015
Computers Program Humans
Tags #robots, #program, #intelligence, #control, #medication, #medicine, #pill, #technology, #power
Transcript
Robot: It is time to take your mood-altering prescription meds. Boss: Oh, right. Robot: Wait... IBM's Watson computer has added another prescription and sent it to your 3-D pill printer at home. Do you think robots will ever program humans? Boss: That's dumb.
Thursday October 08,
2015
Robot Dispenses Meds
Tags #technology, #medicine, #pill, #anxiety, #deception, #control, #manipulation
Transcript
Robot: My biosensors detect an onset of social anxiety. My internal 3-D printer is making the meds to fix you. I am ready to dispense. Please lie on the ground with your mouth open. Dilbert: This feels like a bad precedent.
Friday October 09,
2015
Wally Engineers Something
Tags #genius, #brilliant, #idea, #thinking, #printer, #technology, #invention, #medicine, #deception, #motivation, #innovation, #laziness
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you design our robot's 3-D pill printer? Wally: Yup. Dilbert: The design is brilliant, except for the part where the pill drops out of the robot's butt. Why are you suddenly brilliant? Wally: Never had a reason before.
Sunday October 02,
2016
Tags #correction, #correcting, #freak out, #anger, #tress, #Advice, #eavesdropping, #awkward, #temper
Transcript
Man: What's the best way to invest these days? Boss: Penny stocks are the best value because they only cost a penny. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate over hearing bad advice! Boss: If I were you, I"d take out a second mortgage and load up. Dilbert; I don't want to get involved, but I'll feel bad if I don't. Boss: You'll get reliable stock-picking advice from strangers on television. Dilbert: Run! Cover your ears and run! If it makes you feel any less awkward, I don't now what to do now, either.