Days Of Our Lives Comic Strips - Page 6
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223 Results for Days Of Our Lives
View 51 - 60 results for days of our lives comic strips. Discover the best "Days Of Our Lives" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 25,
2007
Tags #be sick, #in advance, #not know, #scheduled, #sick days
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources CatBert: "From now on, all sick days must be scheduled in advance." Alice: "That's ridiculous. how are we supposed to know when we're going to be sick?" "Tomorrow." Catbert: "I hired a guy who never washes his hands to help you with scheduling."
Sunday August 08,
2004
Tags #credit reporting company, #data, #death, #debilitating, #health problems, #low cost provider, #ruined lives, #medical
Transcript
Dogbert: Im starting a credit reporting company. I'll be the low cost provider because all of my data will be wrong, Dilbert: what will you do when people call and complain that you ruined their lives? Dogbert: I'll put them on hold until their frustration turn into debilitating health problems. Their last words will be AAAGH!!!! I only wanted to buy a minivan! Death will accomplish what customer service could not. Dilbert: Im just curious: Do you have nay qualms about your business plan? any at all? Dogbert: Im not sure. do qualms make you wag?
Sunday September 14,
2003
Tags #keeper of giant binder, #secret technology, #never leave office, #no drawer, #no desk, #use as tiny bed, #rest of days, #trade show binder
Transcript
Alice: "Asok, I designate you the keeper of the giant binder." "It contains our secret technology plans." "It can never leave this office." "It won't fit in any drawer." "And the 'clean desk policy' forbids me from leaving it on my desktop." "GAAA!! I can't take it home, and I can't leave it here!" "I must use it as a tiny bed and spend the rest of my days guarding it." Dilbert: "What did you do with the giant binder prop that you got at the trade show?"
Sunday October 26,
2003
Tags #boosting prformance, #vacation days, #use all, #recahrged, #issed days, #copeantetive advantage, #retirement, #return, #15 year vacation, #20 years in minutes
Transcript
"I have an idea for boosting my performance." "You wisely coached us to use all of our vacation days every year." "Because we come back recharged!" "Our renewed motivation is more than enough to compensate for ths missed days." "My plan is to leverage that competitive advantage." "I'll take a fifteen year vacation and return ten minutes before retirement." "Then I'll be so recharged that I'll pounce and do twenty years of work in minutes!!" "Unless it's near a holiday, in which case, do you mind if I leave early?"
Tuesday April 23,
2013
Tags #apathy, #marketing guy, #customers, #write fiction, #biographies, #daily lives, #typical customers, #drown in aquariums
Transcript
Marketing Guy: We need to know how our customers live and work. I'd like each of you to write fictional biographies that describe the daily lives of our typical customers. I feel you're not taking this seriously. Dilbert: Most of our customers drown in aquariums. The Marketing Guy. Five Minutes Later.
Tuesday October 22,
2013
Tags #choosing, #stress, #vacations, #unlimited vacation days, #torpedo career, #source of stress, #set up, #manipulate
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: We're jumping on the fad of giving employees unlimited vacation days. The only gating factor will be the knowledge that taking any time off whatsoever will torpedo your career. Alice: So... now our vacations will be a source of stress? Catbert: Only as much as you want. It's totally up to you.
Wednesday October 23,
2013
Tags #engineers, #vacations, #work ethic, #unlimited vacation policy, #200 days off, #double productivity, #no way to measure
Transcript
Wally: I'm planning to take advantage of our new unlimited vacation policy. I'll be gone for two hundred days in the coming year. And I guarantee I will still double my productivity compared to the prior year. Boss: There's no way to measure productivity for engineers. Wally: Good to know.
Monday March 17,
2014
Tags #work ethic, #brain wash, #company profits, #more imprtant, #employers engagement, #12 hour days, #work for money
Transcript
Catbert: I'm going to brainwash you to believe company profits are more important than your health. It's called "employee engagement," and it will make you work 12-hour days while thinking you enjoy every minute of it. Dilbert: Can I just work for money? Catbert: Why are you being a jerk about this?
Friday August 15,
2014
Tags #bad days, #decisons, #enviornment, #good days, #happiness, #in your mind, #perceptions, #ticked off, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I had a great day yesterday! Garbage Man: No you didn't. Good and bad days are only in your mind. The environment is largely the same as the day before. Dilbert: You're ticking me off. Garbage Man: Or am I?
Saturday February 04,
2017
Days Off Versus More Pay
Tags #catch-22, #wages, #trick question, #vacation, #compensation, #money
Transcript
Boss: Would you rather have more days off or more pay? Alice: Days off. Dilbert: Days off. Wally: Days off. Boss: You were right-- we're paying them too much.