Depression (Mental State) Comic Strips - Page 6
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91 Results for Depression (Mental State)
View 51 - 60 results for depression (mental state) comic strips. Discover the best "Depression (Mental State)" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 22,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, ratbert, office, computer, video games
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk staring at his computer. He has dishes stacked on top of his head. Ratbert asks Dogbert, "What are those dishes doing on Dilbert's head?" Dogbert replies, "He's in a video game trance. I'm testing my theory that he is unaware of his environment and has no discernible mental activity." Ratbert walks away with dishes stacked on his head. Ratbert thinks, "Poor guy."
Tuesday July 06,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, happiness, mental health
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk working with test tubes and beakers of chemicals. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I've identified the brain chemical that controls happiness." Dilbert says, "And I found the exact mix of fruit and vegetable juices that stimulate its production." Dilbert asks, "Do you realize what this means?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah. Fruits and vegetables will be banned by the government."
Thursday July 08,
1993
Tags mental health, agent, government, bob, happiness
Transcript
Two government agents holding guns stand behind Dilbert while he works at his desk. One agent says, "Erase all the formulas for making your 'Happiness Potion' and we won't jail you." Dilbert says, "Okay, okay . . ." The agent says, "You citizens only have the right to PURSUE happiness - you're not allowed to BE happy." The other agent says, "Citizens need discomfort in order to be productive and fulfilled." Dilbert replies, "Then you'll love this . . ." Bob the Dinosaur reaches for the agent's underwear and thinks, "Wedgie."
Saturday February 19,
1994
Tags computer, deluxe, state of the art computer, feel happy, song, sing a song, no need people, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: "35 inch monitor, 20 MEGs of RAM, 1.2 gigabytes of hard disk space..." "I feel a song coming on." "People...who don't need people...are the ha-a-a-ppiest people."
Wednesday November 23,
1994
Tags existential problem, dilbert reconciling work, paid, salary, what do for money, flick fingers, get paid, money
Transcript
Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "I just lost the subtle mental connection between my performance and my salary." Dilbert continues thinking, "I get paid the same no matter what I do. I can stand here and flick my fingers and still get paid." As he flicks his fingers, Dilbert says to Alice and Wally, "Do you realize what this means??!" Wally says, "Hey! You're getting paid for that!"
Monday March 11,
1996
Tags new product deal, alert in effect, danger new idea, crush o matic
Transcript
Wally and Dilbert stand with the Boss. Dilbert says, "Wally and I came up with a great new product idea!" A voice says over an intercom, "Inspiration alert in effect!!" Another voice says, "Danger! New idea!" An arm extends down and drops a metal casing onto the Boss's head. The intercom says, "State your idea now." There is a large mallet poised over Dilbert's head that has written on it, "Crush-O-Matic." Dilbert says to Wally, "Um, you tell him."
Thursday July 25,
1996
Tags re; ese new prodcut, many defects, economic impact, projected icome, assumptions
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "It looks like we'll release our new product on time, despite its many defects." Dilbert continues, "We've minimized the economic impact of the defects via an advanced business process called 'hoping nobody notices.'" Dilbert continues, "And we've doubled our projected income by modifying our assumptions!" Wally adds, "A lot of this job is mental."
Tuesday March 25,
1997
Tags avoid boss, proved worng, boss disequilibrium, photocopies, proofread
Transcript
Dilbert peers around the corner and tells Alice, "Avoid the pointy-haired boss today. I proved him wrong about something." Alice replies, "Oh, terrific. Now he's in a state of boss disequillibrium until he proves he's RIGHT about something." Wally and the Boss sit at a conference table. Wally shouts, "They're PHOTOCOPIES! You don't need to proofread EACH ONE!" The Boss says, "We'll see about that."
Tuesday August 31,
1999
Tags most common metal errors, hot day, heel, add anew category
Transcript
Dogbert stands in Dilbert's cubicle with a clipboard. Dogbert says, "In order to save time, I made a checklist of your most common mental errors." Dilbert says, "It'll be a hot day in hell before you need that, my friend." Dogbert looks at the paper and says, "I need a new category."
Thursday September 23,
2004
Tags ethics hotline, naughty thoughts, work hours, lost productivity, reimburse comapny, fortune, too honest, self imposing
Transcript
Ethics hotline This is dogcart. Please state your conundrum. Asok: sometimes I have naughty thoughts during work hours should I reimburse the company for lost productivity? Asok: Dang! Thi is costing me a fortune!

