Die Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

140 Results for Die

View 51 - 60 results for die comic strips. Discover the best "Die" comics from Dilbert.com.

Inspirational Poster

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Inspirational Poster - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, new, inspirational, poster, apathy, die, criticize, draft, not good

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i'm going into the inspirational poster business. so far, all i have is "nothing matters because you're going to die anyway." dilbert: that's not good. dogbert: it's easy to criticize a first draft.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags friendship, secretaries (office), internet & world wide web, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Why did you reject my friend request on Facebook?" Carol says, "I'm not your friend. I'm a disgruntled wage slave who hopes you die in a freak industrial accident tomorrow at 3PM." The Boss says, "That's disturbingly specific." Carol says, "Hey, look. You have a meeting at the warehouse tomorrow."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags kindness, trick, credibility issue, suscpious, boss compliments, hostile response

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm just stopping by to say you're doing a great job, Alice. Alice: You never do that! It's a trick! Die, monster, die! Boss: I might have a credibility issue.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags actions & defenses, computers & peripherals, internet & world wide web, international data security standards group, security prcedures, bed sores

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dogbert is chairing the international data security standards group. Dogbert: The goal of our organizations is to make your security procedures so inconvenient that you give up hope and die from bed sores. We take pride in being independent from the companies that fund us.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joking, questioning, feel free, questions, ghosts have clothes, wedgie

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are there any questions? Feel free to ask anything at all. Wally: Why do ghosts have clothes? Dilbert: If someone gives you a wedgie at the moment you die, will you have it for eternity?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags declare failure, explaining things, frustration, incompetence, office workers, partial victory, platform upgarde, teds brain, trapped

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted can explain what you need to do before the platform upgrade. Dilbert: No he can't. Ted's brain is where knowledge goes to die. He's not good at explaining things. The knowledge might be in his brain, but it's trapped there. Unfortunately, Ted's incompetence is so unbelievable that you literally don't believe me. In time, you will assume that Ted taught me well but I forgot all of it. I'm doomed before I start. Let's just declare failure and move on. Boss: That works for me. Dilbert: Partial victory.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags benefits of personhood, chemical nutrients, death & dying, inventions, petri dish, robot, scientific equipment, skin cells, sneezes, science

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Before I die, I plan to put some of my skin cells in a petri dish with chemical nutrients and store it inside a robot. By law, I will still be alive as long as any part of my body is functioning. My robot will enjoy the full benefits of personhood. My robot and I will live forever! Dilbert: Until it sneezes you out.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, debt, future generations, power to lazy, bathroom mirror

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I say we throw future generations under the bus and do as little work as possible until we die. Power to the lazy! That sounded more awesome when I practiced it in the bathroom mirror this morning.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, discrimination, Women, containment unit, steel vault, Men, co workers, job, condesending, freak out, death, business, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Settle down, honey. I didn't ask for your opinion. I'm telling you what we're going to do. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Lower the containment unit! She's going to blow. CEO: When will it be safe? Dilbert: Right after you die.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, swami, trainee, rust, clientelle

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert, who is wearing a magician's hat, sit on pillows with a glass ball between them. Dilbert says, "I don't understand how you can become a certified swami by mail in three weeks." Dogbert replies, "Oh, I'm just a trainee." Dogbert continues, "In the beginning you just keep it general, to build the trust of your clientelle." Dogbert looks into the glass ball and predicts, "Eventually, you will die . . ."