Dilbert's Mental Health Comic Strips - Page 6
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642 Results for Dilbert's Mental Health
View 51 - 60 results for dilbert's mental health comic strips. Discover the best "Dilbert's Mental Health" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday October 28,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #natural, #mental, #peaks, #knowledge, #improve, #performance, #hourly, #temperature, #readings, #identify, #avoid
Transcript
Dogbert sits in a chair across from a man. Dogbert says, "Every person has natural daily rhythms of mental peaks and troughs. We can use this knowledge to improve your performance." Dogbert hands the man a thermometer and continues, "We use hourly body temperature readings to identify and avoid the troughs." As the man leans back in his chair and waves his arms, Dogbert writes, "One o'clock. We have encountered a severe trough. I fear it could be the dreaded 'El Nino' trough."
Thursday October 29,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #afraid, #the boss, #decade, #natural, #body, #rhythms, #employees, #reach, #mental, #low, #best, #avoid, #activity
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I'm afraid your company is being hit by an El Nino Circadian trough." Dogbert continues, "Once a decade, the natural body rhythms of all the employees reach their mental low point at the same time." Dogbert continues, "It's best to avoid any form of mental activity." The Boss yells, "Staff meeting!"
Monday May 03,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #sensory, #deprivation, #chamber, #experience, #mental, #stimulation, #paid
Transcript
Dilbert thinks, "I prepare to enter the sensory deprivation chamber." Dilbert thinks, "I will experience no mental or physical stimulation for hours." Dilbert sits in his cubicle thinking, "All that and I get paid too."
Tuesday June 22,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #ratbert, #office, #computer, #video games
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk staring at his computer. He has dishes stacked on top of his head. Ratbert asks Dogbert, "What are those dishes doing on Dilbert's head?" Dogbert replies, "He's in a video game trance. I'm testing my theory that he is unaware of his environment and has no discernible mental activity." Ratbert walks away with dishes stacked on his head. Ratbert thinks, "Poor guy."
Wednesday May 04,
1994
Tags #bumper sticker, #cops are wuses, #house, #staff meeting, #tasteless hovel, #dilberts home
Transcript
The staff meeting at Dilbert's house ends Wally: I guess we're done abusing your tasteless hovel. Ted: It was somewhat dim witted of you to invite us to your house . Lets do it again real soon. Dogbert: I wondered if Id ever get to use my "cops are wusses" bumper stickers.
Thursday July 14,
1994
Tags #carpal tunnel, #health care, #money, #surgery, #constant agony, #false alarm, #medical
Transcript
Employee: So now I have carpal tunnel syndrome... The Boss: ZZZZ Employee: you don't care about the health of your employees! All you care about is money!! The Boss: money? Employee: I need surgery! Im in constant again!! The boss: False alarm. zzz
Monday November 21,
1994
Tags #dogbert the consultant, #employee turnover, #low rates, #metrics, #turnover rate, #corporate health
Transcript
DOGBERT THE CONSULTANT Dogbert and the Boss sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "A good way to judge corporate health is to look at your employee turnover rate." The Boss says, "Our turnover rate is very low. We only hire people who aren't skilled enough to work anyplace else." Dogbert says, "Maybe metrics aren't the way to go here." The Boss says, "No metric has beaten me yet!!"
Tuesday December 19,
1995
Tags #act as sales people, #dilberts mother, #primary rate circuit, #frame delay drop, #packet data, #tough sale
Transcript
Dilbert and his mother sit on the couch. Dilbert shows his mother a document and says, "My company asked all employees to act as salespeople to friends and family. I think you could use this, Mom." Dilbert's mother says, "Why would I need a primary rate circuit? I've already got a frame relay drop to my web server in the sewing room." Dilbert thinks, "This is going to be a tough sale." Dilbert's mother says, "Hello-o-o! Earth to Dilbert! This is packet data . . ."
Sunday November 12,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #cold, #medicine, #dilbert's cold, #television, #news
Transcript
Dilbert sneezes on Dogbert. Dogbert sniffles and says, "Great. Now I've got your cold." Dogbert leaves the room and says, "I'll get some medicine from the store." Dogbert walks down the sidewalk and sneezes. A man walking by says, "Hi, Dogbert." The man sneezes. Dogbert says, "Sorry . . . Dilbert's cold." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the chair watching television. The newscaster says, ". . . And seven nations are paralyzed by what is being called 'Dilbert's cold.'" Dilbert says, "Gosh. I think I might have that, too."
Tuesday May 07,
1996
Tags #cafeteria, #Catbert, #human resources, #labeling entrees, #life threatening, #red lump, #health care, #evil director, #business
Transcript
The caption says, "Catbert, the evil Director of Human Resources." Catbert, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Catbert says, "We're moving to 'cafeteria style' benefits." Catbert continues, "Under this system, if you need health care, you wander through the cafeteria asking 'Does anybody know what this red lump is?'" Alice asks, "What if it's a life-threatening problem?" Catbert replies, "That reminds me, the cafeteria won't be labeling the entrees anymore."