Dna Changing Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

82 Results for Dna Changing

View 51 - 60 results for dna changing comic strips. Discover the best "Dna Changing" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags socially obvious, social defect., change topic

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: welcome to dogcarts school for the socially oblivious. Today I'll pair with someone whose social defect will cancel out your own, woman: GAAA!! I keep trying to tap about my l=kids and you keep changing the topic to your self! Because Im fascinating.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I got a stomach-ache during my vacation day so I'm changing it to a sick day. "Apparently there's a biological limit to how many potato chips I can eat in a 24-hour period." "And I'm taking tomorrow as a sick day too. I still have eight bags left."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Patty the Amplifier and Distorter "Tell the project team that we're pushing back the schedule by a week." "I can't tell you the reason because you would amplify and distort it." "THE SCHEDULE IS CHANGING BECAUSE DILBERT HATES WOMEN!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I never reviewed the design. "Yes you did. Here's a copy of your e-mail." "This is hardly conclusive. Did you get any DNA evidence?" "What was all that screaming?" "I had to collect some DNA."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, meetings, new team, company change startegy, meetings turn awkward

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: My new executive team got together and figured out the source of all of our problems. Dilbert: Is the problem that the executive team keeps changing, and that means the company strategy keeps changing? Wally: Is the problem that all of our meetings turn awkward?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business plan, confused, deception

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "your PowerPoint slides impressed the executives so much that they're changing our entire strategy." Dilbert says, "Those slides were nothing but a bunch of garbage dressed up to look good." The boss says, "And that's what our new product line will be!" Dilbert says, "Oh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sitting, talking, meeting, idea, changing, greed, dangerous, mean, cruel, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We need to make our pricing plan more confusing." Dogbert says, "And change our packaging to that hard plastic that always cuts the consumes' hands." Dogbert says, "I've been in a bad mood since everyone started talking about capping my excessive pay."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, changing, competition, submitting, management, delays

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "After eight months, senior management finally approved your project plan." Dilbert says, "It's too late. All of the technology has changed and our competitors have leapfrogged us." The Boss says, "Maybe you could write a new plan." Dilbert says, "Or we could get the same result by resubmitting this one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, hiring, renaming, confusion, anger, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "We're changing the name of our staffing group to 'Talent acquisition.'" the boss says, "This reflects our new focus on hiring only highly talented people." Dilbert says, "Doesn't that imply that your current employees are inferior to the ones you plan to hire?" The boss says , "Sort of." Dilbert says, "And since you routinely fire the worst performing employees..." Dilbert says, "you have just sealer our doom while expecting us to remain loyal to the company." Wally says, "now all I can thin k about are ways to vandalize the servers before I become homeless." The boss says, "I over-communicated again."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wolfgang, legend, spread rumor, scacred, hand up, shake, beard, name, plead, bow, software genius

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I asked Wolfgang to join us." The Boss says, "He's a software genius, if not a legend." The Boss says, "He knows more than all of you put together." The Boss says, "Plus his name is Wolfgang." The Boss says, "Some say his talent is a genetic mutation. Others say that god speaks to him in Unix." The Boss says, "All we know for sure is that he glows, and he never needs to eat." The Boss says, "I feel a chill. It means he's appraoching." The Boss says, "Please don't reprogram my DNA and make me a monkey-man!!!" Wally says, "People make a lot of assumptions when you change your name to Wolfgang and stop shaving."