Do Any Work Comic Strips - Page 6

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View 51 - 60 results for do any work comic strips. Discover the best "Do Any Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2005's comic on:


Tags #no meetings, #create work, #canceled them, #drop in

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"Carol, why don't I have any meetings today?" "Your meetings create work for me, so I canceled them." "Maybe I could drop in on some people." "Harpoon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2007's comic on:


Tags #mapped and gapped, #consolidate, #program of work, #maximize synergy, #capture and optimize, #resource utilization, #requirements

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Wally: "This week I mapped and gapped the requirements to consolidate everything into a program of work..." "...to maximize synergy capture and optimize our resource utilization." "If any of that sounded like work, I'll do some more of it next week."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #work ethic, #career advice, #work hard, #destroy helath, #personal life, #happiness advice, #psychology

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Asok: Alice, do you have any valuable career advice? Alice: Work so hard that it destroys your health and crowds out any chance of having a personal life. Asok: Wouldn't that make me... unhappy? Alice: You didn't ask for happiness advice.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2012's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #strengths and weakness, #sharpen skills, #actual work, #mentoring

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Wally: I don't know if I should focus on my strengths or strengthen my weaknesses. Or should I have a bias for action and not waste time sharpening any of my skills? Boss: Which path gets you to do actual work? Wally: I sense a coldness to your mentoring.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2013's comic on:


Tags #dress cassually, #drive innovation, #flex hours, #frustration, #optimism, #start up culture, #valued work

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Boss: We need to foster more of a start-up culture to drive innovation. Dilbert: So we get to dress casually, work flex hours, feel that our work is valued, and get equity in the company. Boss: What would be the name of a culture where people work hard but don't get any of those things you just mentioned.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2012's comic on:


Tags #delusional sociopath, #executives, #gardener, #goat writing autobiograohy, #hallucinations, #hard work, #intuition, #magical thinking, #non-fiction, #vision, #regrets

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Dogbert: I finished ghostwriting your autobiography. CEO: "I was ridiculously lucky. The End." I was hoping you'd include something about all of my hard work. Dogbert: You didn't work any harder than your gardener, and he lives in his truck. CEO: What about my vision and intuition? Dogbert: My first draft had a chapter on your hallucinations and magical thinking. But I covered that ground with the title: "I'm A Delusional Sociopath And You Can Too." CEO: I'm starting to regret paying you in advance.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2009's comic on:


Tags #asking, #project, #complaining, #time, #work, #cruel, #mean

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the Boss says, "I need you to write a white paper for an industry trade association." Dilbert says, "Fine, but that will leave me with less time to work on my project." The Boss says, "Do the trade association stuff during your unproductive time." Dilbert says, "What exactly is my 'Unproductive time'?" The Boss says ,"It goes by many names, including sleep, leisure and healthy lifestyle." Dilbert says, "If I do less of those things it will reduce the quality of my life below the point at which good hygiene has any utility." The Boss says, "I don't want to make out with your. I just want you to work harder for no extra money." The Boss thinks, "I spend too much time explaining the obvious."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2007's comic on:


Tags #options, #costs too much, #any research, #experience thing, #using technology

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Wally: I narrowed down the options to an alternative that costs too much and another that won't work. I didn't do any research. It's more of an experience sort of thing. Next week I plan to think about the option of using technology that isn't yet available."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2005's comic on:


Tags #change is good, #triple pay, #meeting, #work for free, #change can be bad, #slogans, #logic, #business

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The Boss: "You must learn that change is good." Change is :) "Any questoins?" Wally: "Who wants this one?" Dilbert: "I got it." "Question: Why don't you triple our pay? That would be a change." The Boss: "That would not be in the best interst of shareholders." Dilbert: "Okay, why don't you work for free? That's a change that's good for shareholders." "Or would it be better to admit that change can be very bad?" Wally: "My favorite part was when he yelled, "Stop ruining my slogans with your logic!"" Dilbert: "Snort hee-hee!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2014's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #son to work, #Advice, #age, #idiots, #career decisions, #expecting, #unforeseen problems, #business

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Carol: I brought my son to work. Do you have any career advice for him? Dilbert: All boys your age are idiots. If you make any career decisions today, your life will forever be determined by an idiot. Boss: Are we expecting any unforeseen problems today? Dilbert: But you get used to it.