Doctor Comic Strips - Page 6

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129 Results for Doctor

View 51 - 60 results for doctor comic strips. Discover the best "Doctor" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Gives Wally A Prescription

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Dogbert Gives Wally A Prescription - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags medicine, excuse, doctor, laziness, medical

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Wally: I keep falling asleep during meetings. Dogbert: Your problem is that you're useless. I'll give you a doctor's note that says you can sleep during meetings. Wally: You're the best doctor ever. Dogbert: Tell that to the tip jar in the lobby.

Doctor Will Operate

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Doctor Will Operate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, happiness, satisfaction, aspirations, psychology

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Doctor: The MRI shows unusual activity in the laziness region of your brain. Normally, I would recommend brain surgery, but your brain also registers an unusually high level of happiness. Wally: So... how do we handle this? Doctor: I'm going to operate on myself to make me more like you.

Doctor And Dopamine

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 Doctor And Dopamine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags addiction, impulse control, social media, twitter, facebook, pharmaceuticals, drugs, gambling, technology

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Doctor: The MRI shows that your brain has been hijacked by dopamine pirates. You are now under the full control of social media corporations, gambling casinos, and big pharma. Boss: Are you writing me a prescription? Doctor: No, I'm buying stock in those companies.

Medical Phone Calls

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Medical Phone Calls - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice, the boss, doctor, medical, phone call, boils, conversation

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The Boss: Hello, Doctor. Alice: Ugh. Can you please not have medical conversations where I can hear them? The Boss: Relax. It's only some projectile boils and their milky payload. Alice: I hate you.

Wally's Doctor Note

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Wally's Doctor Note - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, doctors, employees, excuses, work, writing

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Wally: Here's the note from my doctor that you asked for. Boss: I can't read the handwriting. Wally: That's how you know it's a real doctor's note. Boss: What's it say. Wally: It says I need lots of sleep at work.

Jargon Cancelling Headphones

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Jargon Cancelling Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags doctor, doctors' offices, office, office workers, prescription, headphones, jargon

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doctor: looks like you have a bad case of jargon poisoning. doctor: i'll write you a prescription for jargon-canceling headphones. they translate jargon words to normal words. office worker: let's stay in our swim lane while the tiger teams get buy-in on the verticals. dilbert hears this with headphones: nothing, nothing, nothing.

Feeling Loyal

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Feeling Loyal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags doctor, visit, healthy, pill, work, money, hard work

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dilbert: lately i've been feeling loyal to my company. and that makes me work extra hard for no extra money. do you have a pill to keep me from working so hard? doctor: they all do that if you take enough of them.

Show Interest In Employees

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Show Interest In Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags appointment, business, doctor, employees, hate, interest, leave, life, managers & supervisors, prank, question

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alice: i have a doctor appointment. boss: what's wrong with you? alice yelling: that's none of your stinkin' business! stay our of my life! boss to catbert: didn't you advise me to show interest in my employees? catbert: i was pranking you. they hate that.

Cooties Diagnosis

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Cooties Diagnosis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confirmed, cooties, diagnosis, doctor, medicine, Opinion, professional, skepticism, symptom, test

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doctor: in my professional opinion, you have a bad case of the cooties. we don't have any tests for cooties, but the main symptom is skepticism, and you have that. dilbert: cooties are not real. doctor: diagnosis confirmed.

Cooties Contact Tracing

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Cooties Contact Tracing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 2 weeks, contact, cooties, doctor, doctors' offices, infect, physical, tracing, Women, zero

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doctor: we need to do contact tracing to determine who else you might have infected with cooties. how may women have you had physical contact with in the past two weeks? dilbert: i'd rather not say. doctor: i'll put you down for zero.