Double Delivery Time Comic Strips - Page 6

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1000 Results for Double Delivery Time

View 51 - 60 results for double delivery time comic strips. Discover the best "Double Delivery Time" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 1994's comic on:


Tags #client server, #project, #reasoning, #six minutes, #time line, #world wide operations, #understand

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The Boss: I put together a time line for your project. I started by reasoning that anything I don't understand is easy to do. Phase one: design a client-server architecture for our world wide operations time: six minutes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 1994's comic on:


Tags #self mangled team, #vital tasks, #staus report, #kiss some butts, #track your time

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The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "I'm going to make your group a 'self-managed team.'" The Boss continues, "All of the vital management tasks that I've been doing will now be shared among you." Dilbert says to Wally and Alice, "Stop your work and give me a status report." Alice says, "Track your time." Wally says, "I think I'll kiss some butts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1995's comic on:


Tags #assignments by priority, #won't waste time, #unimportant stuff, #a priority, #personal life, #must do, #b priorities

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The Boss stands in front of Dilbert who is seated at his desk. The Boss hands Dilbert a document and says, "I ranked all of your assignments by priority so you won't waste time on unimportant stuff." Dilbert reads the document and says, "Everything is an 'A' priority except for 'Personal life.'" Dilbert says, "this helps a lot." The Boss says, "I'm still working on the list of 'Must do' 'B' priorities."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 1995's comic on:


Tags #never time lunch, #men are early, #upgrading pcs, #paid off, #effieciency, #hungry, #secrets

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Dilbert and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Alice walks over and says, "Why is it that I never have time to eat but you MEN are in here every day at 11:35?" Wally replies, "Because the hours we spent upgrading our PCs have finally paid off by greatly improving our efficiency." After Alice has left the table, Dilbert says to Wally, "I thought it was because we get hungry at 11:30?" Wally replies, "We can't reveal all our secrets."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #frivolous email, #bogs down network, #noticed, #too much communication, #about time

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Dilbert reads an e-mail message on his computer screen. The message says, "To: all users. From: network admin. Please refrain from frivolous e-mail. It bogs down the network." Dilbert types a message that says, "To: network admin. From: Dilbert. CC: all users. I agree!" Dilbert arrives at home and asks Dogbert, "Have you noticed there's too much communication in the world, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah, every day at about this time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dogbert the consultant, #took adice, #formed buisness, #compmay, #spend time fighting, #guarantee future business, #expired

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The Boss says to Dogbert, "We took your advice and formed business units within the company . . ." As Wally and another employee fight with each other in the background, the Boss continues, "Now we spend all of our time fighting with each other about who does what." The Boss asks Dogbert, "What exactly did you mean when you said it would 'guarantee future business?'" Dogbert says, "Oh look - my contract just expired."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 1995's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #charge time, #marketing, #reprogram, #compuetr, #radiation, #alter dna, #possible, #business

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Dilbert sits at his computer. An employee peers around the door of Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Ha ha! Now that the engineers must charge their time to marketing, we OWN you!" Dilbert replies, "I'll just reprogram your computer through the LAN so its radiation will alter your DNA." The employee asks, "Is that possible??!" Dilbert responds "As far as you know."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 1995's comic on:


Tags #time sheet, #increments, #15 minutes, #meetings, #shower time thinking, #designing circuits, #complaining

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Dilbert hands his timesheet to a secretary and says, "Here's my timesheet, filled out in increments of fifteen minutes." Dilbert says, "As usual, I coded the useless hours spent in meetings as 'work,' whereas the time I spent in the shower designing circuits in my mind as 'non-work.'" Dilbert continues, "Interestingly, even the time I spend complaining about my lack of productivity is considered 'work.'" The secretary thinks, "I hate my life."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #meets goal, #quarter, #save head, #big imporvement, #save money, #haircut, #double goal, #less experinced, #employees, #business

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The Boss stands in front of Alice, Wally and Dilbert and announces, "If the department meets its goal for the quarter you can shave my head!" Dilbert says, "That would be a big improvement." Wally says, "He's trying to save money on a haircut." Someone asks, "If we double our goal can we iron your shirt, too?" The Boss thinks, "I need some less experienced employees."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dotted line, #arch rival, #secret double agent, #captured and executed, #immediate

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Dilbert stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I heard you got assigned on a 'dotted line' to our boss's arch-rival." Wally sits with his head in his hands and groans. Dilbert continues, "Look on the bright side. Think of yourself as leading the exiting life of a secret double-agent!" Wally asks, "Don't most double-agents get captured and executed immediately?" Dilbert says, "They WISH it was immediate."