Dumb Customers Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

313 Results for Dumb Customers

View 51 - 60 results for dumb customers comic strips. Discover the best "Dumb Customers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 1999's comic on:


Tags #putting you on team, #intelligent, #highly motivated, #stubborn, #dumb guy, #v neck sweater

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss sstands in Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you on a team." The boss says, "You'll be working with other intelligent, highly motivated people plus..." The boss puts his arm around a tall cave man looking man and says, "A stubborn dumb guy with a v-neck sweater."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 1999's comic on:


Tags #little stubborn guy, #dumb guy, #take over, #fulfill

View Transcript

Transcript

BIG: Id like you to meet the little stubborn dumb guy, Dumb: : If for any reason I cannot fulfill my duty to thwart your project, The LSDG will take over for me. Dumb: No, I won't . Big: Yes you will!!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #reduce airline expense, #weed out dumb ones, #sprint across runway, #cling to plane, #takeoff

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert types, "To reduce airline travel expenses..." Dilbert reads, "Sprint across the runway and cling to plane during takeoff." Catbert thinks, "That will weed out the dumb ones."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1999's comic on:


Tags #leader, #listen to customers, #hearing from customers, #customers are defective

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss leaves his office and thinks, "As a leader, I must listen to my customers." The Boss says to Dilbert at his computer, "What are you hearing from our customers?" Dilbert says, "Not a peep." The Boss returns to his office and thinks, "Our customers are defective."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 1998's comic on:


Tags #bonus, #discontinue, #profcits, #recorded message, #redirect, #serve customers better, #tech support, #evil

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted sits at the conference table next to Dilbert. He says, "We're discontinuing technical support of all our products." Ted continues, "A recorded message will explain it to the called this way..." Ted says, "'In order to serve our customers better, we've discontinued technical support.'" Dilbert looks at Ted and asks, "How does that serve customers better?" Ted answers, "We'll redirect those resources to other areas." Dilbert asks, "What other areas?" Ted replies, "Profits." Ted continues, "That makes your bonus larger. Any other questions?" Dilbert says, "Apparently I'm engulfed in evil." Ted says, "That's the spirit."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2000's comic on:


Tags #extroverted thinker, #human resources, #myers briggs personality, #quiet dumb guy, #personality types, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, the boss, Asok, Alice and Dilbert are in a meeting. The boss says: "From now on, all teams will be formed on the basis of Myers-Briggs personality types." The boss says: "If you do not have a personality, one will be assigned to you by human resources." Catbert is standing on the table reading the sheet of paper he is holding, he says to Wally: "We need a quiet dumb guy to pair with an extroverted thinker."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2000's comic on:


Tags #evil hr director, #offered stock incentives, #working hard enogh, #beating customers

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert, now acting as the Evil H.R. director, aks Dilbert "Would you work harder if we offerec stock incentives." Dilbert responds, "Yes." Catbert asks, "So you admit you're not working hard enough now?" Dilbert replies unsure "Umm..." Catbert goes on to ask Dilbert, "Lastly, are you still beating up customers?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 1998's comic on:


Tags #must delight customoers, #stop price gauging, #stop selling defective products, #talking about customers, #delighting customers, #empathy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at the head of the conference table. He says, "It's not enough to 'serve' our customers..." The Boss continues, "We must DELIGHT them!" Alice asks, "You mean we have to stop price-gouging?" The Boss replies, "No, I think we can still do that." Wally raises his hand and says, "Ooh! Ooh!I know!" Wally continues, "We could stop selling products with known defects." The Boss shouts, "I'm talking about products, not customers!!" Wally turns to Dilbert and Alice and asks, "Do you feel like delighting customers?" Dilbert replies, "I barely have the empathy to pity them."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #give away prodcut, #for free, #deinstall it, #bill customers, #consumer despaitations

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "My plan is to give away our product for free." The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We'll only bill customers who ask us to deinstall it." Wally and Dilbert continue looking on impassively as The Boss continues, "For once, those reports of consumer decapitations will work in our favor."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2001's comic on:


Tags #brokerage firm, #discount, #lowest commissions, #customers, #keeping records

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert are sitting on a sofa. Dilbert is snacking on a bag of chips. Dogbert says, "I'm going to start up a discount brokerage firm." Dilbert chews as Dogbert says, "I'll offer my lowest commissions to customers who don't mind bad advice and verbal abuse." Dogbert says, "Did I mention that I won't be keeping any records?" Dilbert says, "You didn't need to."