Tina: You're a narcissist.
Dilbert: You would need an inflated sense of your own importance to believe you can read my mind to compare my opinion of myself to your opinion of my worth.
Dilbert: Sometimes my jokes are just for me.
Boss: You did this wrong.
Dilbert: That's how you trained me to do it.
Bob: You need to learn to take responsibility for my mistakes. It's called "making your boss look good".
Dilbert: Maybe you could help a little too.
Dogbert: If you compliment your employees, they will get big heads and think they are underpaid. But if you criticize them, they will be unhappy and quit.
Boss: What should I do instead of those things?
Dogbert: Have you tried hiding?