Emergency Hiring Comic Strips - Page 6
Search Filters
Year
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
103 Results for Emergency Hiring
View 51 - 60 results for emergency hiring comic strips. Discover the best "Emergency Hiring" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 22,
2004
Tags #taking chance, #indoor plumbing, #teach human habits, #feral emplyee, #trained, #office
Transcript
"The feral employee" "I'm taking a chance by hiring you. Dont make me regret it." "Today, one of my seasoned professionals will teach you to use indoor plumbing." "Look! Look at me! The newspaper tucks under the arm!"
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday October 22,
2005
Tags #hit man, #killed, #cover tracks, #endless cycle, #all free
Transcript
"The trouble with hiring a hit man is that you have to have him killed to cover your tracks." "Then you need a hit man to hit the guy who killed the hit man. It's an endless cycle!" "But ultimately, it's all free, right?"
Wednesday December 27,
2006
Friday January 05,
2007
Tags #amortize the depreciation, #energency hoagie, #quality of decions, #too hungry, #quality of decisons, #hunger pangs, #effect thinking
Transcript
My diet is making me too hungry to listen. I hope that doesn't affect the quality of my decisions. "Amortize the depreciation over the bandwidth of the discount rate." "Don't ask him for anything today." "I brought an emergency hoagie."
Tuesday March 06,
2007
Tuesday August 28,
2012
Tags #talk like idiots, #slap lipstick, #deliverable, #actionable, #underpaid
Transcript
Ratbert: Let's talk like idiots. Bob: Ha ha! You go first! Ratbert: Slap lipstick on the pig, put a stake in the ground, and view it from 30,000 feet. Bob: That deliverable is actionable. Ratbert: Wait... why do I suddenly feel like hiring you? Bob: And why do I feel underpaid?
Monday October 01,
2012
Tags #candy, #children, #engineers, #big companies, #good engineering, #skulk around schoolyards, #nerdy loners, #offer candy, #Family
Transcript
Boss: The big companies are hiring all of the good engineering students as soon as they graduate. We need to start earlier. I want you to skulk around school yards and try to form relationships with kids who are nerdy loners. Offer them candy. Kids love candy. Dilbert: I don't see how this plan could go wrong.
Monday October 29,
2012
Tags #director of change, #employees, #management, #managers & supervisors, #strategies, #business
Transcript
Boss: We're hiring a director of change management to help employees embrace strategic changes. Dilbert: Or we could come up with strategies that make sense. Then employees would embrace change. Boss: That sounds harder.
Tuesday February 12,
2013
Tags #boss, #coffee, #good managing, #horing, #ignorance (knowledge), #insulting, #managers & supervisors, #smart people, #confontation, #business
Transcript
Boss: Today I learned that the secret of good managing is hiring people who are smarter than I am. Maybe I'll try that next time.
Monday February 25,
2008
Tags #dinosuar, #law suit, #no interuptions, #prior employee, #slapped, #slapped with a suit, #take off, #business suit
Transcript
Bob: Im Bob the esquire dinosaur. your exemployee, wally, hired me to step you with a suit for hiring him. Take off your suit is I can slap you with it. Carol: Not now, He's being slapped with a suit and I don't want top ruin the rhythm.