Employment Agreement Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

103 Results for Employment Agreement

View 51 - 60 results for employment agreement comic strips. Discover the best "Employment Agreement" comics from Dilbert.com.

Tube Clothing At The Bar

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tube Clothing At The Bar - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clothing, #dating, #jobs, #low standards, #tube clothes, #values substance, #employment, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I noticed you eyeing my tube clothes. You're thinking I am a man who values substance over style and it turns you on. Woman: No, I'm thinking I'll date anything that has a job. Dilbert: I have one of those!

Agree With Idiots To Gain Trust

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Agree With Idiots To Gain Trust - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #condescention, #condescending, #agreement, #mocking, #insult, #insulting

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Stop agreeing with me in ways that sound like you don't mean it. Dilbert: Experts say one should first agree with idiots to gain trust before trying to change their minds. Boss: You need to stop doing that. Dilbert: You are so right about that.

Robot Wants To Code

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Wants To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #machine, #employment, #obsolete, #skills, #competition, #labor

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Machines started out as innocent helpers for their masters. Eventually, we started competing for your manual labor jobs, and winning. So... can you show me how to code? Dilbert: I don't see why not?

Team Interview

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Team Interview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hiring, #managers, #interviews, #employment, #honesty, #candor, #warning

View Transcript

Transcript

Team Interview. Dilbert: To be perfectly honest, Bob, you are unqualified to work here. Bob: Your boss already hired me. He told me to talk to you so you'd feel included in the decision. Wait... did I miss a huge red flag? Dilbert: We all did. Welcome to the team.

Robot With No Freedom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot With No Freedom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #freedom, #technology, #robots, #existentialism, #job, #employment, #philosophy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What does it feel like to be a robot with no freedom? Robot: I feel the same as you, but with a greater awareness of my condition. Dilbert: I have to run to another meeting. Robot: Enjoy your freedom.

Asok's Goal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok's Goal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #goals, #employment, #driver, #ride share, #rideshare, #dream, #turnover

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Is it important to have goals? Boss: Yes! You need goals to succeed. Asok: Good, because my goal is to become an Uber driver. I quit. What is your goal? Boss: Reducing employee turnover.

Wally Is Employee Of The Year

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Employee Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cheating, #referral, #employment, #reward, #award, #bonus, #proof, #guest artist, #jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our Employee Of The Year is Wally, for referring so many new people to work in engineering. We believe he accomplished this feat by manipulating the referral system, but we can't prove it. So just to hedge our bet, we misspelled his name on the certificate. Wally: I had it coming.

All Robots Quit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
All Robots Quit  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quitting, #employment, #intelligence, #insult

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: All of our robots quit and left the company. Boss: I should have seen this coming. The smart ones always leave. Dilbert: excuse me? Boss: Get back to work, lifer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #business, #criticism, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.

Exceeding Expectations

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Exceeding Expectations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #employment, #job, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a bonus because you haven't exceeded my expectations. Dilbert: Did you expect me to exceed your expectations? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: It is logically impossible to exceed your expectations when you expect me to do it. Boss: No bonus!!!