End State Vision Comic Strips - Page 6

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261 Results for End State Vision

View 51 - 60 results for end state vision comic strips. Discover the best "End State Vision" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nuclear power plant, #our process, #gather customer requirements, #free electricity, #mutating, #xray vision

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Dilbert says to Wally and Asok, "None of us has designed a nuclear power plant before but we can figure it out by using our process." Dilbert continues, "In phase one we will gather customer requirements." Asok is meeting with a customer. Asok says, "So.. you want free electricity without mutating, unless the mutation gives you X-Ray vision." The customer responds, "Yep."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee rehadb, #rip beard, #death, #state name, #coffee addicting withdrawl, #sleeping, #mean, #nasty, #cutting, #violent, #falls asleep, #medical

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Headline: Coffee Rehab. A man stands at a podium and says, "State your name and how long you've been without coffee." The audience is asleep except for one angry patient who says, "I am going to rip off your little beard and beat you to death with it." The man at the podium thinks to himself, "Don't panic... wait... wait...." The angry patient continues, "And then I'll... um... zzzzzzz, zzzzz, zzz."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss stalker, #wait, #offcie, #unscheduled, #suck up, #phone calls end, #still out there

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Man: "We'll be seeing a lot of each other. I'm a stalker." "I wait by his office, unscheduled, ready to suck up to his whenever his phone calls end." The Boss: "Please don't go.. it's still out there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prima donna, #never produced anything, #except arrogance, #noise, #ta-da, #case closed, #stand behind, #end sentences

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"Asok, I want you to work for the prima donna. Do what ever he tells you." "May I point out that he has never produced anything except arrogance and noise?" "You will stand behind me, and when I end a sentence, you will either say, 'Ta-da' or 'case closed.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #signal meeting end, #take hint, #all gone

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Dilbert: "I'll arrange my papers to signal that I want this meeting to end." "Tap tap tap" "C'mon, take a hint!" Man: "So, as I was saying..." "Tap tap tap" Dilbert: "The man would not take a hint." Dogbert: "I said it's all gone!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #america, #arrogance, #elbonians, #end of time, #fight you, #fix problems, #what we do

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In Elbonia Wally: "I'm from America and I'm here to fix all of your problems." Elbonians: "Your arrogance is offensive. We will form an armed resistance and right you to the end of time!" Wally: "Um... Why?" Elbonians: "It's just something we do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eliminated budget, #automated test software, #new code, #automated test, #end any converstaion, #calling person big baby

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Dilbert: "You eliminated the budget for automated test software. How are we going to test our new code?" The Boss: "Go write some automated test software, you big baby. I already pay you, so it's free." Dilbert: "Today I learned I can end any conversation by calling the other person a big baby." Dogbert: "Waa-waa! Do you want your bottle?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fear, #violence, #inspection, #elbonian facility, #disputed territory, #totalitarian state, #north elbonia, #forshadowing

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Boss: I need you to do a site inspection at our Elbonian facility. It's located in a disputed territory on the border of the totalitarian state of North Elbonia. Was that enough foreshadowing or should I say something about how they treat spies? Dilbert: No, you nailed it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #work ethic, #mission, #vision, #core values, #no clear direction, #inappropriate websites

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Wally: Our mission, vision, strategy, road map, and core values are not aligned. So instead of flailing around with no clear direction, I plan to spend my days looking at inappropriate websites. Yesterday, when you said, "Bring me solutions, not problems," I hope you meant it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time management, #evolution, #good management, #tasks, #genes, #dead end

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Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's seminar on time management and evolution." Dogbert says, "The key to good time management is skipping un-important tasks." Dogbert says, "In module two, I will show you that everything you do is unimportant because your genes are a dead end."