Excuse Poepl Comic Strips - Page 6
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124 Results for Excuse Poepl
View 51 - 60 results for excuse poepl comic strips. Discover the best "Excuse Poepl" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 25,
2002
Tags #poisoned, #bad user interface design, #crowd out ugly, #staggering beauty, #drink in, #garbageman advice
Transcript
Headline: In Elbonia. Dilbert says to an Elbonian, "Excuse me. My boss is cheap; can you direct me to a bad hotel?" The Elbonian responds, "I recommend the Bubonic Inn. It is so bad they will pay you to stay there." The man behind the hotel counter looks like a skeleton and has a rat on his head. The man says, "What kind of fleas do you want in your mattress?" Dilbert replies, "Lazy ones."
Tuesday May 27,
2003
Tags #unpaid vacation, #managers approval, #downsize work, #over staffed, #hug slef, #selfishness, #corporate greed, #nasty corporate men
Transcript
Catbert and The Boss are meeting. Catbert says, "Let's offer employees unpaid vacation time, as long as their managers approve it." Catbert continues, "Then we'll downsize any work group that uses it, because it proves they're over-staffed." Catbert hugs himself and says, "Excuse me while I hug myself and purr." The Boss replies, "Take your time."
Tuesday February 03,
2004
Tags #menagerlike work, #criticize, #reorganize, #key board, #hot slef, #noredom, #offcie, #re organizing
Transcript
The Boss: It's been a few hours since I've done anything managerish. I could criticize someone...nah. I could have a meeting...nah. Im reorganizing the department. Dilbert: excuse me while i beat myself with my keyboard.
Friday July 30,
2004
Tags #car, #late, #cold, #car wouldn't start, #warm out, #wind chill factor, #no actual car, #lied. boss, #excuse
Transcript
wally: I'm late because my car wouldn't start in the cold. The boss; Its warm outside. allyL theres a little thing called the wind chill factor. Hello - o - o -o!! Dilbert: that was wrong on many levels. wally: Someday Im gotta get a car.
Saturday August 28,
2004
Tags #suspicious, #nap, #evil director, #wellness program, #human resources, #business
Transcript
"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "Have you heard about the employee wellness program?" "If you call in sick on a Monday or a Friday, your boss says, 'Well, well, well- that's very suspicious.'" "Now if you'll excuse me, I feel a nap coming on."
Wednesday March 23,
2005
Tags #not entitled to opinions, #copyrighted, #stupidest opinions, #universe, #uttered
Transcript
"And so that's why..." "Excuse me, you're not entitled to your opinion." "I copyrighted all of the stupidest opinions in the universe so they can never again be uttered." "Hey! I just realized that I no longer need to drink!"
Wednesday December 14,
2005
Tags #vp of enguneering, #saving money, #databases, #slices idea, #errors, #asok
Transcript
V.P. of Engineering "Then I had the idea of saving money by combining our four databases." "Excuse me. That was Alice's idea. You said it was impossible, so she did it on her own time." "Carry on. I'll jump in if I notice any more errors."
Sunday March 12,
2000
Tags #stirrup pants, #not professional, #filed patent, #50 million dollars, #earn license fees, #comapny, #various pant crises
Transcript
The Boss calls Alice as she is walking by: "Alice!" The Boss tells Alice: "Stirrup pants are not professional attire." Alice explains: "I just filed a patent that will earn fifty million in license fees for the company." The Boss is impressed: "Really? Wow." He continues: "But its no excuse for bad pants." Alice says: "Whatever. Did you sign the budget request I gave you last week?" The Boss answers: "No... I've been busy with various pant-related crises." The stirrup pants are pulled over the Boss's head. He thinks: "Here's another."
Sunday July 23,
2000
Tags #baby cio, #meeting, #diapers, #nature calls, #big words, #very advanced, #baby, #infany, #genius, #smart, #talks, #business
Transcript
ALICE: have you met the new CIO? Dilbert: No. Alice: I hear he's young. New Cio: Hello. We need to integrate our enterprise resource planning with our existing E-commerce platform. Now if you'll excuse me. Nature Calls. AAAHHH.... Then we'll decentralize the procurement function and....hold on a second. Gramps could you do me a huge favor?
Friday July 11,
2008
Tags #salary, #above midpoint, #sock, #hand, #paycheck, #demonstration, #money
Transcript
The Boss says, "Your salary is already above the midpoint for your pay range." The Boss says, "Excuse me while I remove a sock to explain what will happen to your pay going forward." The Boss says, "Let's say the sock is inflation and my hand is your paycheck."