Excuses Comic Strips - Page 6

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63 Results for Excuses

View 51 - 60 results for excuses comic strips. Discover the best "Excuses" comics from Dilbert.com.

Optimal Meeting Density

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Optimal Meeting Density  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, excuses, excuse, meeting, meetings, powerpoint, business

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Wally: We've achieved optimal meeting density. We have so many meetings that I can avoid all of them by saying I have another meeting at the same time. Man: While you're here, can you review my slide deck? Wally: I'd love to, but I have fifty slide decks ahead of you.

Artificial Deadlines

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Artificial Deadlines - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadline, logic, motivation, excuses

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Woman: You've been promising me you'd finish the web page for the last six months. Wally: This is your fault for not giving me an artificial deadline. Woman: Okay. I need it by end of day. Wally: And miss my dental appointment??

The Extra 10%

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The Extra 10%  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, excuses, effort, motivation

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Boss: Our project can only succeed if each of us gives 110 percent. Voice 1: I'm off next week. Voice 2: I have surgery on Monday. Voice 3: I gave my two-week notice a week ago. Boss: Okay, can I get a 50 percent effort from any of you? Wally: I can only give you the extra 10 percent you believe exists.

Purchasing Did Not Order Part

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Purchasing Did Not Order Part - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags delays, excuses, laziness, work ethic, scapegoat, deadline, delay

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Wally: The purchasing department rejected my request for a key system part because of a typo on their form. But they didn't tell me for three months, so now my product launch will be delayed by that much. Boss: But they finally ordered the part? Wally: I call that unknowable.

Conditions For Wally To Be On The Team

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Conditions For Wally To Be On The Team - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, excuses

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Wally: My boss gave me approval to join your project team under the condition I don't take on any extra work. Woman: The whole point of being on the project is to do extra work. Maybe I should talk to your boss. Wally: His other condition is that you never contact him.

Do Not Implicate Boss

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Do Not Implicate Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sick, sickness, illness, contagious, deadline, responsibility, accountability, medical

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Dilbert: My project is two weeks late because you came to work two weeks ago and gave me the flu. Boss: Do you have any excuses that don't implicate me as the main problem? Dilbert: How about I say I didn't feel motivated and leave it otherwise vague? Boss: I can work with that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags distraction, procrastination, work ethic, excuses, productivity

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Dilbert: I have one hour to get some work done before my meeting. But I can't concentrate when i"m hungry, so I need a shack. This snack is making me thirsty. The label on this shirt is bugging me. I need to cut it off. Q quick trip to the restroom and then I can get down to work. Ugh. I have fifteen messages since I left my desk. Now it's too close to my meeting to start a new task. Dogbert: How's work? Dilbert: How would I know?

Wally's Best Play

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Wally's Best Play - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags excuses, laziness, work ethic, deadline

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Wally: There are many, many reasons why my project is late and over budget. Boss: Do any of those reasons not involve your incompetence and sloth? Wally: I think my best play here is to be offended by the question.

Wally's Doctor Note

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Wally's Doctor Note - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, doctors, employees, excuses, work, writing

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Wally: Here's the note from my doctor that you asked for. Boss: I can't read the handwriting. Wally: That's how you know it's a real doctor's note. Boss: What's it say. Wally: It says I need lots of sleep at work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags angry, business, office workers, sarcasm

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Boss: Did you finish the product redesign? Dilbert: You never told me to redesign the product. Boss: I don't want any excuses! Dilbert: You never told me to redesign anything. Boss: Whoa! Leave your pretzel logic at home. You need to learn how to take responsibility for your failures. Dilbert: Okay...I take full responsiblity for you not telling me what you wanted me to do. Boss: You're not doing it right. Dilbert: Should I slap myself while saying it?