Experimental Medical Procedures Comic Strips - Page 6

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159 Results for Experimental Medical Procedures

View 51 - 60 results for experimental medical procedures comic strips. Discover the best "Experimental Medical Procedures" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 1998's comic on:


Tags #flu, #germs, #fly through air, #sneezed, #tissue, #sick, #ill, #contagious, #office illness, #medical

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An unnamed flunky says, "Don't worry about my flu, Alice. Germs don't fly through the air." He sneezes so hard his tissue is blown out of his hand. Aachooo! He looks at Alice and says, "Remember, germs don't fly through the air." ALice's hair is pushed back as if in the middle of a wind storm. She pushes up her sleeves, preparing to punch the guy and says, "Yours are gonna."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 1998's comic on:


Tags #fertility drugs, #coffee, #tabloids, #million dollars, #doctor, #agent, #Advice, #medical

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Wally looking at a bloated Dilbert. Dilbert says, "My dog put fertility drugs in my coffee." Dilbert continues, "At first I was mad. Then the tabloids offered me a million dollars for my story." Wally inquires, "Have you seen a doctor?" Dilbert replies, "My agent advises against that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 1998's comic on:


Tags #receipts, #look fake, #notorized, #dna evidence, #process voucher, #difficult secretary, #annoying procedures, #formal, #not neccessary, #red tape

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Dilbert stands in front of Carol's desk. Carol hold several pieces of paper. Carol says, "I can't process your voucher because these receipts look fake to me." Dilbert reaches for the receipts. Dilbert says, "They aren't fake!" Carol says, "Then why aren't they notarized?" Dilbet's hair stands on end. Dilbert crumples the paper. Dilbert says, "Because they're just receipts!" Carol says, "And now you'll tell me there's no DNA evidence either."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dogbert teaches math, #cut staff, #bonus worth, #expense requiremnets, #calculated, #budget, #multiply by one, #doctor, #flashlight, #projections come from, #medical

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The caption says, "Dogbert teaches business math." Dogbert points to a diagram of an equation. A picture of Wally, Dilbert and Alice illustrates the equation, "Grunts equals zero." The caption says, "#1. Any job that can be done by two people . . ." The Boss stands behind two people. The caption continues, ". . . Can be done by one person for half the cost." The Boss yanks one of the workers out of his chair. The caption says, "#2. A bonus today is worth more than . . ." The Boss holds a large bag of money. The caption continues, ". . . The whole company tomorrow." An office building has a closed sign on it. The caption says, "#3. Your expense requirements for December can be calculated . . ." The Boss sits at his desk writing on a piece of paper. The caption continues, ". . . By taking what's left in the budget and multiplying by one." A delivery person asks the Boss, "Giraffe goes where?" Dogbert says, "Next week, a doctor with a flashlight shows us where sales projections come from."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 1996's comic on:


Tags #project time line, #work portion, #meet with people, #competitive bids, #predictable behavior, #randomly reorganize, #department, #cut funding, #final phase, #death, #bitter and broken, #leaving building, #medical

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Dilbert and the Boss sit at a conference table. Dilbert works on a laptop connected to an overhead projector. Dilbert says, "Here's my project time line." Dilbert points to a diagram and says, "The 'work' portion will take one week." Dilbert continues, "I'll spend three weeks meeting with people whom you send to me because you don't feel like talking to them yourself." Dilbert continues, "I'll spend eight weeks getting competitive bids from companies that I know I won't select." Dilbert continues, ". . . Six weeks to get the wisdom and approval of executives who are too busy to understand the issues." Dilbert says, "During that time you will randomly reorganize the department and cut my funding." Dilbert points to a picture of a man jumping out of a building window. Dilbert continues, "In the final phase I leap to my death, a bitter and broken shell of a man." The Boss asks, "Is there some sort of manager thing I should be doing now?" Dilbert replies, "If I time my leap right you'll just be leaving the building."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1999's comic on:


Tags #immense ego, #seems normal, #decided, #doctor, #determine lives, #dies, #die from ulcer, #enjoy challenge, #medical

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Dogbert dressed in a crown and sceptar stands by Dilbert's computer. Dogbert says, "I need a job where my immense ego seems normal." Dogbert says, "I've decided to be a doctor. I will determine who lives and who dies!" Dogbert is in a doctor's office. He still wears the crown and has a stethoscope around his neck. A man in boxer shorts says, "What? I can't die from an ulcer!" Dogbert says, "Maybe not, but I enjoy the challenge."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 1999's comic on:


Tags #alice, #assisted suicide, #brochure, #job makes alice sick, #doctor, #doctors office, #medical

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ALice sits in the doctor's office. Alice says, "Are you saying my job makes my sick?" Doctor says, "Don't worry there's a cure." The docotr hands Alice a pamphlet and says, "Here's a brochure on assisted suicide." Alice says, "How do you assists?" The doctor says, "I gave you the brochure."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 1999's comic on:


Tags #telecommuting, #rest and pampered, #sick, #pajamas, #work clothes, #medical

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Dilbert is holding a mug and says to Wally, who is sitting at his computer: "I thought you were telecommuting today". Wally says: "I'm sick" Wally says to Dilbert: "So I came into the office to get some rest and be pampered" Wally says to Dilbert: "Fortunately, my pajamas look exactly like work clothes"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1998's comic on:


Tags #document prcedures, #requirement, #engineers, #submit time cards, #magic cylinder, #trash can, #gone by morning, #five years, #no one complained

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Dilbert approaches Carol and says, "I need to document your procedures. It's an ISO 9000 requirement." Dilbert starts writing as he asks, "So...the engineers submit their time cards and then you do what?" Carol points to her desk and says, "I put them in a pile until I'm sure that they're all here." Carol points under her desk and continues, "Then I move them to the magic cylinder." Dibert asks, "The trash can?" Carol answers, "No, it's a magic cylinder. I put my work in there and by morning it's gone." Dilbert says, "I've been giving you my time card for five years." Carol responds, "No one has complained yet." Dilbert walks away thinking, "After today, I am NOT rounding to the nearest fifteen minutes."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2000's comic on:


Tags #casserole, #surgery, #ten year service party, #medical

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Carol enters Ted's cubicle and says, "Ted, your ten year service party will be on Tuesday." Ted replies, "I'm having surgery on Tuesday." Carol responds, "Maybe you could drop off a casserole on your way."