Fake Clone Comic Strips - Page 6

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106 Results for Fake Clone

View 51 - 60 results for fake clone comic strips. Discover the best "Fake Clone" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2007's comic on:


Tags #meeting staff, #chain of command, #fake hone calls, #hanging around office, #waiting to get off phone, #weirdo, #go away

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Ned: I enjoyed meeting your staff. Keep up the good work. Dilbert: This isn't my staff. I report to the guy who reports to you." Ned: Really? Which one of you reports to me?" Well, that explains why you keep hanging around outside my office. The Boss: I've been going to your office for years, waiting for you to get off the phone so I could talk to you. Ned: I've been making fake phone calls for years, hoping the weirdo outside my office would go away." Keep up the good work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2007's comic on:


Tags #ask the intern, #died, #moon shuttle, #sample of dna, #jar, #reincarnate to clone, #jar missing, #needed for candy

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The Boss: "I am sad to report that Asok the intern died during a test of our moon shuttle prototype." "Before he left, he put a sample of his DNA in a jar. His plan is to reincarnate into his own clone." "Where's the jar with Asok's DNA?" Carol: "I needed a second candy jar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #prototype, #killed asok, #clone, #reincarnate, #snack jar, #snicker, #feel nuts

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"Your prototype killed Asok. That means it is your job to clone him and hope he reincarnates into the clone." "Carol used his DNA container for a snack jar, so be careful." "Why do I feel nuts?" "You're part snickers bar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2007's comic on:


Tags #dead for week, #managed reincarnation, #own clone, #shapeshifting skills, #snicker bar, #cable guy, #waited at house, #equivalent

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Asok: "I was dead for a week, but I managed to reincarnate into my own clone and use my shapeshifting skills to look less like a snickers bar." Carol: "I once waited four hours for a cable tv guy to show up at my house." Asok: "Those stories are no equivalent." Carol: "It's subjective."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2014's comic on:


Tags #management jargon, #engage employees, #follow from front, #anything, #tell people, #fake caring situation, #fake passion, #uncle died, #combine both

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Boss: What's the newest management jargon I need to pretend you understand? Catbert: Experts say you should engage employees and follow from the front. Boss: Does that mean anything? Catbert: No one know. Just to be safe, you should tell people you're doing it. Boss: Should I act as if I'm passionate, or is this more of a fake caring situation? Catbert: Beats me. Try combining the two. Boss: Fake passion plus fake caring. Asok: My uncle died. Boss: Woot!!! What was his name?!

Carol Has Passion For Her Job

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Carol Has Passion For Her Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2014's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #boredom, #boring, #email, #fake passion, #forwarded email, #mindless, #passion, #success, #warren buffet, #work ethic

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Carol: Warren Buffett says my career will be better if I show passion for my job. I'll have to fake the passion because everything I do in this job is mindless and boring. Later. Carol: Woo-hoo! I forwarded an email!

Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator

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Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2015's comic on:


Tags #first impressions, #personality, #fake, #honesty, #negativity, #negative, #criticism, #dating, #attraction, #relationships, #psychology

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Dilbert: I invented an external brain stimulator to regulate my moods. Woman: That means your personality is artificial. How can I be attracted to a fake person? Dilbert: Are you saying your baseline personality is an unpleasant drunk? Woman: What?

Boss Tweets Fake News

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Boss Tweets Fake News - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2017's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #mobile (cell) phones, #talk, #window

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The department of education asked us to talk to you about all of your tweeting. You tweeted so much fake news that the average I.Q. in the country plunged seven points. That doesn't hurt anyone. You tweeted "seat belts are designed to strangle survivors so they won't sue."

Fake Email From The Ceo

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Fake Email From The Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virus, #infection, #malware, #technology, #typo, #literacy

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Dilbert: I can't delete the Elbonian virus in our network. It keeps replicating. Holy carp! It created a fake email full of typos and bad ideas and sent it out from our CEO's account! Wait, no. That's actually from our CEO. Wally: Maybe the virus can fix him.

Searching On A Phone

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Searching On A Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #communication, #phone, #protocol, #task, #rude, #technology, #insult, #fake

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tina: i have something funny to show you. just give me a minute to find it on my phone. dilbert thinking: what's the protocol in this situation? should i just sit here and stare at her pawing at her phone? i can't talk because she's focused on her task. and it would be rude to walk away. would it be an insult to look at my own phone and mentally check out from this useless interaction? tina: ah! i found it! dilbert: okay, good. tina: wait, that's not the right one. dilbert: is this why people fake their own deaths?