magazine salesman: our publication is considering naming your company one of the best places to work. on a totally unrelated topic, our sales team will be contacting you about buying lots and lots of advertisements.
boss: and if we don't?
magazine salesman: who would want to work at a company that makes such bad decisions?
boss: all of my bad qualities see to be canceling each other out. for example, i want to micro-manage my staff, bi=ut i'm too lazy. and i want to do some corporate backstabbing, but i'm not that brave. i enjoy lying, and i'd like to do more of it, but my credibility is so low that no one believes me. i want to mock my employees for their mistakes, but i don't understand enough about what they do to know when they are doing it wrong. i want to take credit for the successes of my employees, but i don't give them enough support to succeed.
carol: our set just called. he says he is naming you the manager of the year.
boss: he must be deeply uninformed.
carol: yes, but he's also lazy, so he pocked you randomly.