Finished Comic Strips - Page 6
77 Results for Finished
View 51 - 60 results for finished comic strips. Discover the best "Finished" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share January 19, 2013's comic on:
Alice: We need to talk about my workload. Boss: Okay. I just emailed you two more assignments that I need finished by tomorrow. Alice: You are literally killing me. Boss: I call it extreme managing.
Share February 10, 2013's comic on:
Dilbert: I'm working at home today. It will be as if we're co-workers. Dogbert: Ugh. This madness must stop! You should check your Facebook page to see what's new. You should check Twitter. Dilbert: I'm almost finished with Facebook. Dogbert: Did you get my LinkedIn request? Dilbert: I'll check. Dogbert: I send you some links to funny websites. Dilbert: Cool! I just spent ten hours at my computer and I can't remember why I was sitting there in the first place. Dogbert: You were going to check your stocks. Dilbert: Okay. That sounds right. Two Hours Later. Two Hours Later. Two Hours Later.
Share January 16, 2008's comic on:
Asok: I finished my project and I'm ready to present it to the board of directors. The Boss: Interns don't speak to the board of directors, Asok. It would be considered an insult. Asok: How is that an insult? The Boss: You have the stink of unimportance.
Share September 12, 2008's comic on:
Asok says, "I worked around the clock and finished a project that would normally require ten programmers." Asok says, "Um... did I just establish a new baseline expectation that will turn my job into a tragic death march?" The Boss says, "It's time to set some stretch goals." Asok says, "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"
Share June 11, 2009's comic on:
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We'll execute our strategy in the usual way." Dogbert says, "The powerful will delegate to the untalented until failure is achieved." The boss says, "How long will that take?" Dogbert says, "We just finished."
Share May 23, 2010's comic on:
Dilbert says, "I finished the business case." Dilbert says, "You said you would try to get funding if the numbers look good." The Boss says, "I never said that." Dilbert says, "I clearly remember it. I can describe our conversation word for word." The Boss says, "I probably said something that sounded like 'I will get funding' and you heard it wrong." Dilbert says, "What exactly sounds like 'I will get funding'?" The Boss says, "Landfill wet hunting." Dilbert says, "That's not even a good try!!!" The Boss says, "Shake it off."
Share December 04, 2007's comic on:
Dilbert: "My company wants me to design a private moon shuttle in three months. Doom is inevitable." Dogbert: "What you need is a scapegoat to blame for the project never getting finished. I'll send one over." Dilbert: "I was almost done, and then this idiot comes along."
Share February 27, 2005's comic on:
"Your project deadline is next month, and I can't imagine you finishing on time." "So I dinged you on your annual performance review." "But... I will finish on time." "Well, let's agree to disagree."<r>"What?!" "You're basing my raise on what you IMAGINE I won't do in the furture!" "Relax. If you do finish the project on time, I'll factor it into your next annual review." "Well... Okay. I guess it all averages out." One Year Later "Remember the project that I finished last year?" "No. But the new one looks like it will be late."
Share June 06, 2013's comic on:
Catbert: This is Wulf. He used to work for a famous physicist named Schrodinger. He escaped before the experiment was finished and now he's both alive and dead at the same time. Dilbert: Like a zombie? Catbert: Uh-oh. Wulf: Wow. I have half a mind to be offended by that.
Share January 02, 2014's comic on:
Boss: Experts say you should format your presentation like a "Hero's Journey." Presentation: Eventually, the plucky engineer finished his PowerPoint slides despite interference from a pointy-haired monster. Boss: Experts never warn you about that part.