Fix Her Comic Strips - Page 6
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As a consultant, Dogbert says to the Boss "All of your employees are ignorant." Dobgert continues, "I can fix that by selling you intranet collaboration tools." The Boss says to Dgbert in an uneasy voice, "But if they're sharing their ignorance..." Dogbert thinks to himself, "Sign it, sign it, sign it..."
Catbert is standing on a desk and talking to Dilbert. Catbert says, "We can't pay this week because your position code is misaligned with your module." Catbert continues, "Worse yet, no one knows what that means or whose responsibility it is to fix it." Dilbert says, "Who told you about the problem?" Catbert says, "It was an anonymous note with disappearing ink."
Dilbert is packing his suitcase. He says to Dogbert, "I'm supposed to shut down our Elbonian mud delivery business." Dilbert continues, "But I'm a highly trained engineer so I will analyze their business model and fix it." Dogbert replies, "They deliver mud to people who live in mud." Dilbert says, "You have my attention."
Dilbert tells the Boss while handing him some documents: "My tests prove our product is defective." While the Boss is examining the documents, Dilbert says: "Customers expect delivery tomorrow." Handing the documents back to Dilbert, the Boss says: "Our corporate philosophy is 'Quality is our primary goal.'" Dilbert asks: "So... you want me to delay shipment until we fix the problems?" The Boss answers: "No." The Boss says: "I want you to ship now so we can book the revenue." Dilbert exclaims: "GAAA! That's the opposite of our corporate philosophy!!!" The Boss replies: "Now you know why there aren't any rich philosophers." Reclining on the couch at home with Dogbert, Dogbert tells Dilbert: "There used to be one, but he believed I was a Swiss bank."
The Boss: "I e-mailed you the expense breakdown. I need you to fix the format and send it out." Carol: "I will now read your mind to get the unspoken, ever-shifting preferences for the format." "I see nothing emptiness... the abyss..." The boss: "Add a chart."
The Boss approaches Dilbert with a book in hand. The Boss says, "Let's see.. your defects are discussed in chapter 23." The Boss continues, "I'll give you a photocopy so you can see how to fix it yourself." As The Boss walks away, he thinks, "Books are full of information."
Dogbert: All of your problems are caused by emotionally unstable coworkers. "Try prescribing meds from the internet to fix their defects." Dilbert: Okay. That one was the wrong choice. Let's try something else." The Boss: "GRRRR!"
Tina: Oh No. It's a technical glitch that I don't know how to fix. "GAA! NOw I must humble myself to some condescending engineer and ask for help!" Alice: "And how did I teach you to ask?" Tina: "I'm sorry that I spent my college years drinking beer and studying English literature."
ALICE: "Just disable the local cache mode to fix the MAPI settings, and delete the duplicate messaging sub-system registry key." TINA: "What if I don't understand anything you said right then? ALICE: Good grief! I can't make it any simpler!" TINA: "GAAA!!!" ALICE: "It's funny because it's cruel."